tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20358176137469034772024-03-13T20:45:38.727-07:00balancing motherhood careereangelihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03283227153127507342noreply@blogger.comBlogger58125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2035817613746903477.post-88234481452637686662022-03-02T12:28:00.000-08:002022-03-02T12:28:20.496-08:00Do I Set Myself Up for “Big” Disappointments? <div class="MsoNormal">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEg83wIqJnk0YR08L1e5oJ_ssWvfK6-15RxHtNzy2FLXXjPA4grN8Ooihvk7r5jKAsxcfe5x6T-pZ-waWqHEzycPH4NKVWqaItA3Zp6Q4O01NB_nrBKzpYGQ8-5aZ8FcFAkRAVUTxaLqw3fUGEJw1xYRJFgiCC0EwJSpFkcsjLJRuI4oNgc3JIcE2iUs=s698" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="400" data-original-width="698" height="333" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEg83wIqJnk0YR08L1e5oJ_ssWvfK6-15RxHtNzy2FLXXjPA4grN8Ooihvk7r5jKAsxcfe5x6T-pZ-waWqHEzycPH4NKVWqaItA3Zp6Q4O01NB_nrBKzpYGQ8-5aZ8FcFAkRAVUTxaLqw3fUGEJw1xYRJFgiCC0EwJSpFkcsjLJRuI4oNgc3JIcE2iUs=w624-h333" width="624" /></a></div><br />I have a vivid imagination. I used to get lost in
my head with all the paths my life could take that inevitably seemed to
end in different versions of me being rich and famous. I would imagine
my clothes, the parties, the well-known friends and <a href="http://issuu.com/womans-essence-magazine/docs/woman_s_essence_mag_may/1?e=0/1990011" target="_blank">my face gracing covers</a>
of magazines. How I would get there was much less clear or fun to
dwell on. Fame and fortune seemed the solution to all life’s ills
during my late teens. I still get lost in my head with visions of
different types of accomplishments now: authoring a best-selling novel,
making <a href="http://ethiopianties.blogspot.com/2013/03/open-hearts-big-dreams-we-do-it-for-her.html">big strides for education and literacy</a>
in my daughter’s birth country; taking on that huge professional role
that will let me leverage my experience as well as my creative side.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I always want to be the best at what I do and if I am brutally honest,<a href="http://balancingmotherhoodcareer.blogspot.com/2011/04/am-i-bad-mom-if-i-want-it-all-career.html"> perfect</a>.
I have a hard time doing something if it doesn’t live up to my vision
of what it should be. I would take projects at school and spend much
more time than necessary to make them try match the picture I
envisioned. And even then, some part always fell short. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I
recall as a pre-teen going to my first dog obedience competition with
my pup who I faithfully trained each day and took to classes on the
weekend. The dog did great. But I forgot to give one command to stay
and she followed me, a disqualifiying event. I learned, but for that
lapse, we would have scored high enough to achieve second place. I
cried the whole way home in the backseat of my dad’s car. I was
devastated and couldn’t see the good in the experience or savor the
partial success. I didn’t achieve what I set out to do so all was lost.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I
know I carry over my high expectations of myself at times to others. I
had a best friend who as a child who meant everything to me. I recall
our parents being concerned we were “too close” in grade school. As <a href="http://balancingmotherhoodcareer.blogspot.com/2013/04/8th-grade-promotion-chance-to-learn.html">middle school rolled around</a>,
our paths started to diverge and she sought other friends. I had
unrealistic expectations of our friendship lasting as it was into the
years ahead. I feel betrayed and rather lost; but realized later, I was
a big contributor to the large divide between what I hoped and what
happened. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I can look back at a number of
painful adult life lessons since and see now where my expectations set
up me for a larger fall. I found, with a little time, most these
disappointments led to positive outcomes or learning. An award at
another show, a new friend, and with the years, the list goes on. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So I am trying hard to take life’s ups and down as they come. It’s tough because <a href="http://ethiopianties.blogspot.com/2011/10/open-hearts-big-dreams-lots-of-chills.html">envisioning a certain beautiful outcome</a>
is part of my bliss and fuels many of my passions. So while I want to
retain the childlike kinetic energy inherent in imagining the impossible
and perfect is possible, I also want to disconnect it from unrealistic
expectations. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
So when disappointments happen, as they inevitably
will, I remind myself to not dwell on the bitterness of what is not to
be but rather on the sweetness of new possibilities. My picture may
need to be adjusted rather than abandoned. I strive to develop a y<a href="http://ethiopianties.blogspot.com/2013/08/long-overdue-thank-you-letter-to-my.html">ogic like flow</a>
from each life event to the next. The first may include a beautiful
vision like when my body and mind are in perfect sync, the second a
jarring let down like in a new difficult pose where my body cannot
easily find strength or balance, and then on to the third which embodies
a combination, accepting and incorporating my own and life’s
limitations, while continuing to strive to improve both. As with most of
my efforts, this one is definitely a work in progress.eangelihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03283227153127507342noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2035817613746903477.post-13206016222648335922016-11-26T14:58:00.007-08:002022-03-02T12:40:25.657-08:00Off The High Dive – lessons from my fourth grade self<div style="text-align: center;">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgKg0Y-Z4kbOBi1BliP2OptiaWh4-qZa02sCnUH0trxQGiYyzN0NmqbKA44fiVHkKdCPCeBHdunYIuFq1iNmwanRchSrCLskF95PkItBDQf_pxgOycs0qpuW4GUkj0OePpkM54WvK_kLadcvTG37lPkBFwdzNSvdAZO8SL08WBhQcwVGE1cRyBUNUTL=s2833" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2592" data-original-width="2833" height="348" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgKg0Y-Z4kbOBi1BliP2OptiaWh4-qZa02sCnUH0trxQGiYyzN0NmqbKA44fiVHkKdCPCeBHdunYIuFq1iNmwanRchSrCLskF95PkItBDQf_pxgOycs0qpuW4GUkj0OePpkM54WvK_kLadcvTG37lPkBFwdzNSvdAZO8SL08WBhQcwVGE1cRyBUNUTL=w542-h348" width="542" /></a></div><br />I was looking out
On a sea of sparkling crystals. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I saw the laughing face of father, </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
And a worried look on mother’s.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Encouraging words from sister. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I felt like a tiny fish, </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Splashing when I came down. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
A weight was holding me . . . </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Urging and pushing me farther. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
The weight was lifted: </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I am
trying. . . . . .
kicking . . . . .. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I’m making my way up. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
I wrote this poem as a fourth grader and it won an award at my school. I
stumbled across it looking through books at my parent’s house recently;
they have a few hoarding tendencies.
What struck me was it so aptly captured the process for my adult
decisions that involve risk and fear. This poem was written about
literally jumping off a high dive because I never was a physically
adventurous type and jumping off was terrifying – I still remember.<br />
<br />
However, I since faced many other high dives including marriage, kids,
career choices and medical diagnoses. Even surrounded by support and
encouragement, it comes down to me taking the leap of faith by myself.
And often once I leap, I still feel terror settle on me like the weight
holding me down, my mind paralyzed with the doubts, second guessing and
worrying. Thoughts thrashing horribly in my mind like the limbs of a
drowning person.<br />
<br />
But once I resist that magnetic pull of negativity, the weight seems
almost magically lifted. And I am free to push myself back toward the
surface and the light. I am still working hard to make progress toward
being the person I hope I will one day become.
Thank you to my fourth grade self for the great reminder.eangelihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03283227153127507342noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2035817613746903477.post-88895117052134257942016-08-18T01:21:00.004-07:002016-08-18T15:27:24.645-07:00My Bonus Sister<div class="MsoNormal">
My husband has one sibling a sister born nine years after
him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The family legend has it he was not
so enthused by this new addition when she arrived home, saying to his mom, “We’re not going to keep her,
are we?!?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
A lot has changed since then. They have been each others'
rock through some tough times including the <a href="http://www.workingmother.com/did-my-husband-marry-someone-like-his-mother-0">loss of their beloved mother</a>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She is my "Bonus Sister" to the three I have
through biology and those I have added through deep and abiding friendships.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My Bonus Sister and I share a few obvious things.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Our names start with E, both have
birthdays in late November, are approximately the same age, enjoy good
food and wine as well as both adore her brother/my husband and her niece and nephews/my kids.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The list of differences is longer and more substantial.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She lives in Athens and speaks Greek; I live
in Seattle and speak English.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I finished
graduate school and followed a reasonably traditional career path; she finished
high school and has made a name for herself in music production and now
restaurant management.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Her life revolves around a group of key friends many of whom didn’t married or have kids.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Mine revolves around my husband and our kids and close friends who mostly chose a similar path.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We don’t have an easy time communicating although I am fully
confident of our mutual love and respect.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>She shared recently how much my <a href="http://balancingmotherhoodcareer.blogspot.gr/2014/08/heaven-received-another-angel-her-name.html">blog post about her mother</a> meant to her.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She said she read it again on the second
anniversary of her passing when sadly her mother's older sister passed away this year too. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As I was walking in the Greek sun after having said, "Good Bye for now," to my Bonus Sister, I felt some melancholy. I hoped she knew how
much she means to me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I realized I don’t
express these feelings explicitly often enough and don’t want to miss this
chance.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So I hope she doesn’t mind, “I
put down the words”.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Below are the
top three qualities I admire in my Bonus Sister:</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<ul>
<li><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">She is a giver.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></b>Evangelia resembles her mother in this
respect.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She is happiest if she can make
others’ lives more enjoyable.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I can see
that is why she was successful in her music producer career and now
with her restaurant management one.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She pays
attention to people.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She really sees
them and connects to them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And with this
knowledge, she truly elevates their experience.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>This trait was fully on display last year.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She celebrated her <a href="http://www.workingmother.com/balancing-two-careers-and-three-kids-over-almost-three-decades">brother’s his first marathon in Athens</a> by planning parties – pre and post --and creating a banner in anticipation of success. My superstitious husband wasn’t sure he was happy with the pre-celebration initially.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She is the
official god-mother to our middle son but beautifully connects in a different way with each of our
three, who light up around her.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Before
she left, she cooked a week’s worth of our mouth-watering Greek favorites so we
could enjoy our remaining time together more easily.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">She is a survivor.</b>
Times have been tough for Evangelia and I am sure I only know a bit of it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The Greek economic woes have created real innocent victims
of ordinary people.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My Bonus Sister is
one of them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She lost everything she had
worked so hard for the previous two decades.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>And her chosen vocation was no longer viable.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As a forty something single woman, she needed
to start over with nothing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And she did:
no complaints, no pity party.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>With a
smile on her face, her amazing connections, and her willingness to put in both
the time and effort, she started a new career as a restaurant manager at
<a href="http://www.itrestaurant.gr/">It Restaurant</a> in Athens.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She helped make it hugely successful
and it recently expanded and now includes I<a href="http://www.itonthego.gr/">t on the Go</a>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This is all
the more admirable since she only finished high school.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She created two successful careers for
herself with sheer determination and deep resilience.</li>
</ul>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<ul>
<li><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">She is joyful.</b><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Most of my memories over the years of
Evangelia involve her creating laughter around her.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Even with the language barrier, she is super
funny.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She is the first to defuse a
tense situation with a joke.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And she is
the one who can always get a table or room full of people to burst into side splitting
laughter, over and over. Often you will see tears streaming down the smiling faces, with the mock request, "Stop, now, Stop, PLEASE."<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I also know she
has times where laughter doesn’t come easy. But still, she prefers to choose
joy and laughter in those situations. And in consistently doing so, she lifts those up around her
too.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The
world needs more joy and laughter. And Evangelia is doing more than her
fair share contributing. She is a true light on this earth. </li>
</ul>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So my Bonus Sister, Evangelia, I hope you know how much you
are appreciated.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You wrote me some
amazing sentiments when you visited us in Seattle and I cherish them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Now this is my turn.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I also want to leave you with some pieces of sisterly advice
if I may.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<ul>
<li><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Take as good care of
yourself, as you do of others.</b><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You
have worth and value that needs to be fully cherished first by you so you can
continue to give joyously to others. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></li>
</ul>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<ul>
<li><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">As you survive, also
take time to pause and enjoy your beautiful journey</b>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I love that you spend time with dear friends and recently took up
attending yoga retreats.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Please continue
to do more things like this.</li>
</ul>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<ul>
<li><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">And finally, don’t
let your laughter mask pain you don’t want to share</b>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You have many who care about you, starting
with your brother and me. They would honored to share your burdens as well as
your joys.</li>
</ul>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
You are a truly amazing woman, sister, daughter, aunt,
friend and godmother!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">I will leave you with a favorite Irish (apologies, don't know any Greek ones) blessing which says it best: </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><b><i> </i></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b><i><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;">May the road rise up to meet you</span></i></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b><i><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><br />
May the wind always be at your back</span></i></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b><i><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><br />
May the sun shine warm upon your face</span></i></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b><i><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><br />
and rains fall soft upon your fields.</span></i></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b><i><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><br />
And until we meet again</span></i></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b><i><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><br />
May God hold you in the palm of His hand</span></i></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
<span lang="EL" style="font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EL;"> </span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjsZbwaquCqnoqBza8LTHo9KWTqfvMh5TjNogsJzQSNKxa5Y3PCRC-rO2Ktc3GS7uLYg4N_V166JgZUEJ2S3cIcJ9eauoqL2Q3ndFvOA7cs0ElL3f80TNVKBrJWZb33TY6h0FUeAyzDHOqI/s1600/greece+2016+007.JPG" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjsZbwaquCqnoqBza8LTHo9KWTqfvMh5TjNogsJzQSNKxa5Y3PCRC-rO2Ktc3GS7uLYg4N_V166JgZUEJ2S3cIcJ9eauoqL2Q3ndFvOA7cs0ElL3f80TNVKBrJWZb33TY6h0FUeAyzDHOqI/s400/greece+2016+007.JPG" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<pre class="tw-data-text vk_txt tw-ta tw-text-medium" data-fulltext="" data-placeholder="Translation" id="tw-target-text" style="height: 72px;"><span lang="EL" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;"> </span><span lang="EL" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">σε αγαπω παρα ΠΟΛΥ</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">,</span><span lang="EL" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;"> Evangelia Angelidou, η αδελφή μου!!</span></pre>
</div>
eangelihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03283227153127507342noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2035817613746903477.post-3458140574806698812016-03-25T17:23:00.000-07:002016-04-10T01:35:30.532-07:00Nothing Gold Can Stay -- RIP Bella<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" QFormat="true" Name="heading 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" QFormat="true" Name="heading 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" QFormat="true" Name="heading 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="toc 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="toc 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="35" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="10" QFormat="true" Name="Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="11" QFormat="true" Name="Subtitle"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="22" QFormat="true" Name="Strong"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="20" QFormat="true" Name="Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="Table Grid"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 1"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Revision"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="34" QFormat="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="29" QFormat="true" Name="Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="30" QFormat="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 1"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 2"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 3"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 3"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 4"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 4"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 4"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 5"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 5"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 5"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="19" QFormat="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="21" QFormat="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="31" QFormat="true"
Name="Subtle Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="32" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="37" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Bibliography"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" QFormat="true" Name="TOC Heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="41" Name="Plain Table 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="42" Name="Plain Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="43" Name="Plain Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="44" Name="Plain Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="45" Name="Plain Table 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="40" Name="Grid Table Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="Grid Table 1 Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4"/>
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<br />
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-outline-level: 1; text-align: center;">
<b><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-kerning: 18.0pt;"></span></b></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; tab-stops: 45.8pt 91.6pt 137.4pt 183.2pt 229.0pt 274.8pt 320.6pt 366.4pt 412.2pt 458.0pt 503.8pt 549.6pt 595.4pt 641.2pt 687.0pt 732.8pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Courier New"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Nature’s
first green is gold,</span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; tab-stops: 45.8pt 91.6pt 137.4pt 183.2pt 229.0pt 274.8pt 320.6pt 366.4pt 412.2pt 458.0pt 503.8pt 549.6pt 595.4pt 641.2pt 687.0pt 732.8pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Courier New"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Her
hardest hue to hold.</span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; tab-stops: 45.8pt 91.6pt 137.4pt 183.2pt 229.0pt 274.8pt 320.6pt 366.4pt 412.2pt 458.0pt 503.8pt 549.6pt 595.4pt 641.2pt 687.0pt 732.8pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Courier New"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Her
early leaf’s a flower;</span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; tab-stops: 45.8pt 91.6pt 137.4pt 183.2pt 229.0pt 274.8pt 320.6pt 366.4pt 412.2pt 458.0pt 503.8pt 549.6pt 595.4pt 641.2pt 687.0pt 732.8pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Courier New"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">But
only so an hour.</span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; tab-stops: 45.8pt 91.6pt 137.4pt 183.2pt 229.0pt 274.8pt 320.6pt 366.4pt 412.2pt 458.0pt 503.8pt 549.6pt 595.4pt 641.2pt 687.0pt 732.8pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Courier New"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Then
leaf subsides to leaf.</span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; tab-stops: 45.8pt 91.6pt 137.4pt 183.2pt 229.0pt 274.8pt 320.6pt 366.4pt 412.2pt 458.0pt 503.8pt 549.6pt 595.4pt 641.2pt 687.0pt 732.8pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Courier New"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">So
Eden sank to grief,</span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; tab-stops: 45.8pt 91.6pt 137.4pt 183.2pt 229.0pt 274.8pt 320.6pt 366.4pt 412.2pt 458.0pt 503.8pt 549.6pt 595.4pt 641.2pt 687.0pt 732.8pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Courier New"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">So
dawn goes down to day.</span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; tab-stops: 45.8pt 91.6pt 137.4pt 183.2pt 229.0pt 274.8pt 320.6pt 366.4pt 412.2pt 458.0pt 503.8pt 549.6pt 595.4pt 641.2pt 687.0pt 732.8pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Courier New"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Nothing
gold can stay.</span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<i>Robert Frost</i><br />
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjK3BxgFVt32aE-oUWt1Ge9nQkkDju7tA65rQqZTkUBc0xI90EHeLZuwNmu6MTJo_Xf5nG4o-LDmsC1Buo8EsGnQdPVMoKp2Jq3NcbZX2fisWbVdiStcoj-CZde_lmXK21iaUp9DyCw2Xk/s1600/OHBD+2014+001.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjK3BxgFVt32aE-oUWt1Ge9nQkkDju7tA65rQqZTkUBc0xI90EHeLZuwNmu6MTJo_Xf5nG4o-LDmsC1Buo8EsGnQdPVMoKp2Jq3NcbZX2fisWbVdiStcoj-CZde_lmXK21iaUp9DyCw2Xk/s320/OHBD+2014+001.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Bella literally bounced into our lives as a tiny two pound
ball of fur.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She stole every single
person’s heart that first day.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She was
the complete embodiment of everything good in this world.</div>
<ul>
<li>She loved unconditionally everyone who she identified as hers. Each
expression of adoration was as unique as the person it was directed toward.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We all thought she slept with us because she
would bed hop during the night looking after her beloveds.</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>She embraced life with abandon.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Nothing was half way with her, whether
jumping two feet in the air in welcome or the hopes of a treat, or racing
around crazily at top speed with amazing turning ability to burn off steam or
to entice someone to play with her. </li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>She knew home is wherever her family was. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She traveled the world with us including two
assignments in Luxembourg and France and countless hotels in the EU and the
US.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If we were with her, she was home.</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>She was liquid joy which was contagious.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was hard not to smile around her and be uplifted.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She was always happy to see one of hers
return whether from a two week trip or a walk around the block.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>She fully understood we were better together.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She was most content and settled when we were
all in the same place just relaxing as a family.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> She had a way of making those times extra special with her presence.</span></li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>She wanted to be our protector which was humorous given her diminutive
size and her general fear of anything bigger than herself.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She would keep look out all day for
unexpected visitors at the front door or the back yard. It was both funny and touching.</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>She sensed when someone was sick or down. She would give that person
more of her precious time and attention. She would stick to them like glue until she was sure that person was back to normal and her vigilance no longer needed.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
</li>
</ul>
So it seems so unbelievably unfair that on the day when Bella suddenly
and inexplicably breathed her last breath, I cannot sink my
tear soaked face into her sweet, soft fur as I have done on countless occasions over the years.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
need her comfort now more than I could have imagined and she is gone.<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Bella was solid gold.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> I wish it were not so but</span> nothing gold can stay.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgaro8YJepqzj8Jeb3GvBIzQdS8WyRp6CydMQikGTPshwvJ2u-TsHUbryhsdfC4sU4EmfcAH0YgTH75YD8H3tkhrUQAjmaaOlwajW-ZhzYAY5oQ6Hh03Fk1jUjrjCF8nuHEcA3UhBk_cUU/s1600/greece+2012+evangelia+012.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgaro8YJepqzj8Jeb3GvBIzQdS8WyRp6CydMQikGTPshwvJ2u-TsHUbryhsdfC4sU4EmfcAH0YgTH75YD8H3tkhrUQAjmaaOlwajW-ZhzYAY5oQ6Hh03Fk1jUjrjCF8nuHEcA3UhBk_cUU/s320/greece+2012+evangelia+012.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
eangelihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03283227153127507342noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2035817613746903477.post-91221492515115608602016-03-14T20:09:00.000-07:002016-03-14T20:09:27.469-07:00Taking Care of Self is the Key to Success in All Areas<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibyrrhfBZriJgoD8VTB9u2xfXLEil5MW_XEVkT8gkPiktsuM8PfVW8vpL5di9AWmnRhEQdh8XOfyKSbKHDutnYHldw-IYnWvT15B3tozVIunc1fn6OUDCGb8Fp3wwO5zPQqdEBsQCMU1c/s1600/finger+nails_blog.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="256" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibyrrhfBZriJgoD8VTB9u2xfXLEil5MW_XEVkT8gkPiktsuM8PfVW8vpL5di9AWmnRhEQdh8XOfyKSbKHDutnYHldw-IYnWvT15B3tozVIunc1fn6OUDCGb8Fp3wwO5zPQqdEBsQCMU1c/s400/finger+nails_blog.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">Since I was a teen, I had beautiful long nails.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
I was genetically blessed with fingernails that were thick and strong.
With a bit of care, they would grow to enviable lengths. </span>I
enjoyed painting them every imaginable hue. I nurtured them and loved
hearing the compliments as well as the question, "Are they real?"</span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></span></span>
<br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">During
those adolescent years, they were a sign of beauty I could honestly
claim when my hair, my face and my body were not as I wished.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My nails were also a creative outlet as I could use them as accessories, color coordinating with my makeup and clothes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I embraced a rainbow of possibilities. I loved rotating 10 or more shades preferring a bold and attention getting palate.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I even hand modeled for a brief period.</span></span></span></span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";"><span style="font-size: xx-small;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: xx-small;"> </span></span></span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">As college and<a href="http://balancingmotherhoodcareer.blogspot.com/2011/07/dropped-out-of-college-moved-to-europe.html"> searching for my path in life</a> challenged me, I saw my nails as a symbol of how I wished the world would see me: beautiful, strong and unique.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When I <a href="http://balancingmotherhoodcareer.blogspot.com/2011/03/motherhood-my-leap-of-faith-okay-maybe.html">became a mom</a>, maintaining my nails became a luxury of my previous life that was just too difficult to maintain.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: "calibri"; font-size: xx-small;">My nails immediately showed if they were not given consistent, proper care. They peeled, chipped, and broke.</span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="font-family: "calibri"; font-size: xx-small;">I gave in to the message they sent me.</span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="font-family: "calibri"; font-size: xx-small;">With the limited investment I could make as a new mother, I needed to settle for short, natural nails.</span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> I
also felt deep down perhaps manicures were now a bit of a frivolous use
of energy when there were so many important obligations calling to me</span></span></span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: xx-small;"> </span></span></span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">However, as my firstborn grew into a more independent toddler, I again found the time as well as the joy of length and polish.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> My </span>approach was more practical at this stage; I stuck with muted colors where chips would not easily show.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> I also was okay with short and natural if they were healthy. </span>I no longer wanted to garner attention.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But rather, I was content to just enjoy their beauty -- more appreciated because of the hiatus.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: xx-small;"> </span></span></span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">Over <a href="http://ethiopianties.blogspot.com/2012/05/happy-fourth-birthday-to-my-amazing.html">two more kids and lots of health</a> and work challenges, I noticed a pattern. If my life was well managed, my nails were long, healthy and meticulously polished.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When I took on too much, was in transition, or in the eye of storm of <a href="http://balancingmotherhoodcareer.blogspot.com/2011/08/how-to-balance-two-careers-and-three.html">three kids and two careers</a>, my nails became ragged and broken; a reflection of where I was.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: xx-small;"> </span></span></span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">I maintain them now but don’t take it too seriously.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I garden, play piano and do many things that involve using my fingers as tools.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>However, when I look down at my hands, I see instruments that have played many melodies in my life. They still gives me much satisfaction. I have learned I let the decorative piece go sometimes if my schedule gets out of control, keeping them healthy is always a priority.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> N</span>ow it is for different reasons.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have nothing to prove to the world.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But I do know I need to take care of myself to be a success at home or at work; and my fingers let me know how well I am doing.</span></span></span></span></span></span></div>
eangelihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03283227153127507342noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2035817613746903477.post-16243051150795824132015-12-29T17:20:00.002-08:002015-12-29T17:20:25.086-08:00What Load Balancers and a Power Outage Taught Me about Myself and Transitions<div class="MsoNormal">
One summer, I was sitting in Greece breathing a
huge sigh of relief that our whole family including two pets safely
arrived on the first <a href="http://www.incultureparent.com/2013/01/the-rollercoaster-of-international-relocation-as-a-family-of-five/">leg of a momentous trip</a>.
I had created some goals for my time there. I have so much I want to
accomplish each day. And I found I follow through if I make it official
and write it down. My goals for these trips are different than my
regular life ones. Some are small like, walk every day or do yoga with
my daughter. Others are more aspirational like; create another painting
with the kids. And yet others are just fun, like try out at least 5
recipes to add to <a href="http://balancingmotherhoodcareer.blogspot.com/2011/04/middle-child-solution-food-is-love.html">our next cookbook</a>.<br />
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I
took stock as I sat there on the end of two full days with only a tiny
dent in my “to dos” – all of which I really wanted to accomplish. I had
close to zero energy and motivation to do anything about it. It dawned
on me that my big life change required me to take a different approach,
a re-balancing. I try to make my life like the suitcases I packed to the gills to
fit in our car with 5 people and two pets. I tucked t-shirts, underwear
and socks in every crevice, not wanting to waste any space. I want to
live my life that way too; filled to the brim with things that matter to
me; time with friends and family, giving back, my work, my garden, my
writing, the list goes on. But it takes me effort and focus to find
ways to fit it all in again when my foundation shifts as it did with our
relocation to Europe.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I was reminded of a work
call some years ago about a technical issue where load balancers were
discussed. Apparently, because of an unexpected event we reached
near peak capacity and some load balancers “fell over” which led to
downstream effects. There was a discussion by techie types that you
needed to always have excess capacity to handle an expected spike, which
they had in this case. But the spike was much bigger than planned for;
so they were adjusting for the future.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The
discussion stayed with me over the years. I don’t want to waste “excess
capacity” waiting for the occasional spike. So I load up my life to
nearly its full potential. But the unfortunate result is when I have a
spike, like last year’s international assignment and move, my personal
load balancers fall over. It takes me some time to get everything
working back as it was before and that is okay, even good.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Time is so precious; I don’t want to waste it. But I also want to leave time to breath and <a href="http://balancingmotherhoodcareer.blogspot.com/2013/02/working-mother-challenge-be-in-present.html">just be</a>. This is a constant tug of war inside me that is most exposed during <a href="http://www.workingmother.com/blogs/mom-mayhem-missions-and-more/balancing-juggling-%E2%80%93-dropping-things-part-perfecting-art">times of transition</a>.
One evening during that summer, our handyman, who honestly is less handy
than you would expect but he is pretty much the only game in town, was
fixing our hot water heater. Suddenly the house went dark. Apparently
his screwdriver slipped and he cut off our power. Much about that
explanation didn’t make sense to me either. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8akjGfvR-jq_0iqvHxCHzMQrA8jTNWOqR7_EQ4ZiacbAs5hjXmK8HXEIdZf1AlLLYxKhaKKAEmEgwTNFLnJw2JtKSDGIm6ocNfpo7sus_blQdJY94rYsmtHhEzioWD2SPFPpqX20O7yc/s1600/last+dinner+out+greece+2011+050.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8akjGfvR-jq_0iqvHxCHzMQrA8jTNWOqR7_EQ4ZiacbAs5hjXmK8HXEIdZf1AlLLYxKhaKKAEmEgwTNFLnJw2JtKSDGIm6ocNfpo7sus_blQdJY94rYsmtHhEzioWD2SPFPpqX20O7yc/s400/last+dinner+out+greece+2011+050.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Good times in Greece</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
My
daughter and I were on the coach watching TV; I was catching up on some
writing and emails. When the electricity went off, we headed out to
the patio where the last few rays of the setting sun over the
Mediterranean highlighted the night sky. We just snuggled together with
her sweet head on my lap as I stroked her beautiful curls. It was <a href="http://ethiopianties.blogspot.com/2012/05/happy-fourth-birthday-to-my-amazing.html">priceless and perfect</a>; all else could wait. This was a moment to savor – and just be. </div>
eangelihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03283227153127507342noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2035817613746903477.post-34867468671815657182015-10-04T15:55:00.000-07:002016-06-06T12:36:27.697-07:00Need Vocation, Bliss and Purpose - in MeasureI had a few friends express some dissatisfaction with the current state of their life
without a clear sense of why they felt it. I asked them questions about
how they viewed their current professional role, the state of their
personal life, what they did for fun, and what gave them a sense of
purpose. I always want to provide helpful advice. Well if I am
perfectly honest, what I really want to do is fix it for them. But I
have come to understand that isn’t often possible or even wanted.<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
After
having a similar conversation a couple of times, I came to a
self-realization which is what frequently happens as I try to sort
through an issue with someone else. For me to have life feel balanced, I
need to keep three pieces in rough equivalent proportion. I have
always had ambitions to do something that mattered and put my talents to
work in a professional environment. I also need creative outlets that
give me joy whether it be cooking, gardening, writing, music or
painting. And I find the "creating" process often helps me break down
complex challenges I am wrestling with. Finally, I want to know my life
has some larger purpose outside myself – that at the end I left the
world a little better place than I found it – or at least I tried. When
I invest in each of those areas in some equal measure it gives me
peace. This picture of my daughter sleeping in my arms as we are
bouncing along dirt roads <a href="http://ethiopianties.blogspot.com/2012/07/trip-to-ethiopia-lessons-in-perspective.html">in her native Ethiopia</a> is the epitome for me.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqjSCGwNDSOsRvMuA1VRjV_ok3wJEnmoFs1GPz2y5czQ63oci85ydCwKN8DeyyCZpjqoT3kBMe3WAkalYBqM8KC5RigTste1UjA_ITJuhHzlnYUcl7-7GRycFx00Hy4svMsS-JDDQWY-I/s1600/ethiopia+netherlands+030.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqjSCGwNDSOsRvMuA1VRjV_ok3wJEnmoFs1GPz2y5czQ63oci85ydCwKN8DeyyCZpjqoT3kBMe3WAkalYBqM8KC5RigTste1UjA_ITJuhHzlnYUcl7-7GRycFx00Hy4svMsS-JDDQWY-I/s320/ethiopia+netherlands+030.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
I
envy my husband. He found all three very early in life. He always
loved basketball. He started as a player, then moved into coaching and
teaching, and finally into running a basketball program and helping our
boys. He is a gifted teacher of math and basketball and through his
efforts he changed many young lives who often come back to share how he
helped them on their path. His vocation, his joy and his purpose were
all wrapped in a neat package. He knew what he wanted to do and has
enjoyed how the natural progression of life revealed the next
iteration. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I was never sure of what <a href="http://balancingmotherhoodcareer.blogspot.com/2011/07/dropped-out-of-college-moved-to-europe.html">I wanted to be</a>.
I liked to do so many things. I won awards growing up for poetry, dog
training, short stories, a crime poster, fundraising for MS, piano, art
and academics. Notably lacking were any prizes for sporting achievement
which were never my strong suit. After a failed attempt to become a
doctor, I pursued being a lawyer. But I will admit, not for some great
love of the law. I looked at what I was good at and enjoyed – writing,
speaking, philosophy and psychology -- and it seems like a good choice.
Over the years, my career evolved from being a litigator at a large
firm, to going in house, to becoming a commercial lawyer, a marketing
lawyer and then moving into a business role. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I
gardened throughout my life as much for the therapeutic aspects as the
beauty that were the results. I experimented with cooking which led to <a href="http://balancingmotherhoodcareer.blogspot.com/2011/04/middle-child-solution-food-is-love.html">writing a cookbook</a> with
my son. A few years back, I also started writing again, dabbling in
painting and getting involved in not for profits, both sitting on a
board and actively fundraising. <br />
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But I found when I feel most at peace and in balance, and also when I have the <a href="http://ethiopianties.blogspot.com/2012/09/what-is-success.html">most success</a>,
is when I have activities in three buckets. I titled them vocation,
bliss and purpose. When talking to my friends, I often found they
neglected a bucket. For one, it was the purpose bucket and for another
it was bliss. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I gained a powerful reminder too.
This balancing effort is a dynamic process. It requires focus and
dedication. Only in checking in with myself and being willing to adjust
and evolve as my life changes, can I maintain my preferred state of
being.</div>
<br />
Previous published on my <a href="http://www.workingmother.com/blogs/mom-mayhem-missions-and-more/working-mother-lesson-need-vocation-bliss-and-purpose-measure">blog on Working Mother</a>eangelihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03283227153127507342noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2035817613746903477.post-59822721526250840702015-09-16T22:53:00.002-07:002015-09-16T23:04:39.228-07:00A Kid Speaks Out Against Bullying: A Lesson for Us All<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_whix-xwnfaaQOhsgEpexwSo17gerrgzTKjSDkG_l_XrDP0TKnIhCLjw3xdyNtLV3rsns_Fww_GkhjnI1bLa4uLTEiRjZRZkj7onT93sDC5ZnV5-an05R_cINZw-w2ZXF3mgTmbzysCc/s1600/a+kids+speaks+out+against+bullying.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_whix-xwnfaaQOhsgEpexwSo17gerrgzTKjSDkG_l_XrDP0TKnIhCLjw3xdyNtLV3rsns_Fww_GkhjnI1bLa4uLTEiRjZRZkj7onT93sDC5ZnV5-an05R_cINZw-w2ZXF3mgTmbzysCc/s400/a+kids+speaks+out+against+bullying.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Damian at twelve reflecting and Leyla posing</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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One of the great joys of motherhood for me is when I learn profound or
simple truths from my children.<br />
<br />
They can come in so many forms; a reminder to smell the roses by seeing the
exquisite joy on the face of <a href="http://ethiopianties.blogspot.com/2013/03/open-hearts-big-dreams-we-do-it-for-her.html">my
daughter as a four year old</a> as she put her hand in a fountain or the
realization of the vast human potential as <a href="http://balancingmotherhoodcareer.blogspot.com/2012/08/motherhood-challenge-teaching-your-kids.html">my
teenager considers his path</a>.<br />
<br />
My middle son’s lessons often come through <a href="http://balancingmotherhoodcareer.blogspot.com/2012/12/to-superhero-mom.html">his
poetry</a> which can simply express deep concepts. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When he was twelve, he shared a poem he wrote
against bullying (and gave me permission to publish).<br />
<br />
What struck me was he captured not only the pain of the bullied but also the
pain of the bully. Treating others in that way is a sign of something else
amiss inside – feelings of worthlessness or unresolved hurt and anger. It can happen in a school as well as in workplace or even in a home.<br />
<br />
By understanding the why behind what we do and bringing it out in the
open, rather than burying it, we all have the chance to take away its power and
make a positive change.<br />
<br />
Asking for helping or finding someone to listen can be a key first step to
break a destructive pattern. Every day is a new opportunity to make a different decision;
adults as well as children.<br />
<br />
But to do so, we have to take the message seriously as the last line implores.<br />
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Name="List Bullet 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="10" QFormat="true" Name="Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Closing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Signature"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Default Paragraph Font"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Message Header"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="11" QFormat="true" Name="Subtitle"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Salutation"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Date"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text First Indent"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text First Indent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Block Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Hyperlink"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="FollowedHyperlink"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="22" QFormat="true" Name="Strong"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="20" QFormat="true" Name="Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Document Map"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Plain Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="E-mail Signature"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Top of Form"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Bottom of Form"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Normal (Web)"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Acronym"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Address"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Cite"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Code"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Definition"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Keyboard"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Preformatted"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Sample"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Typewriter"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Variable"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Normal Table"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="annotation subject"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="No List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Contemporary"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Elegant"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Professional"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Subtle 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Subtle 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Balloon Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="Table Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Theme"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Placeholder Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" QFormat="true" Name="No Spacing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Revision"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="34" QFormat="true"
Name="List Paragraph"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="29" QFormat="true" Name="Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="30" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="19" QFormat="true"
Name="Subtle Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="21" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="31" QFormat="true"
Name="Subtle Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="32" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="37" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Bibliography"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" QFormat="true" Name="TOC Heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="41" Name="Plain Table 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="42" Name="Plain Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="43" Name="Plain Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="44" Name="Plain Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="45" Name="Plain Table 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="40" Name="Grid Table Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="Grid Table 1 Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51" Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52" Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="List Table 1 Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51" Name="List Table 6 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52" Name="List Table 7 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="List Table 6 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="List Table 7 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark Accent 2"/>
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<br />
<div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
<b>"Stop Bullying"</b></div>
<div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
I don’t know why I cry</div>
<div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
In the darkness, without light</div>
<div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
Is it because the demons inside</div>
<div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
Or the ones at school</div>
<div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
I don’t get why they break the rules</div>
<div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
Why do these people</div>
<div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
Pick on kids weak or</div>
<div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
Keep their identities unknown</div>
<div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
But know their cowardice does grow</div>
<div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
You were not this way at birth</div>
<div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
Know that you are of a worth</div>
<div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
You may think you aren’t</div>
<div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
But know that you are.</div>
<div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
You are not just par</div>
<div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
You are a birdie, you’re an eagle</div>
<div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
Fly high like a seagull</div>
<div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
Swoop down, change your plans</div>
<div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
Be good, be a man</div>
<div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
There is nothing bad</div>
<div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
Within in your body</div>
<div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
But there is a poison hidden</div>
<div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
The more bad you do, it quickens</div>
<div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
We must rid us of this evil curse</div>
<div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
Before it can get any worse</div>
<div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
For those people giving hurt</div>
<div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
Know that you are being heard</div>
<div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
Don’t be physical to express your
words</div>
<div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
Don’t have dark secrets unshared</div>
<div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
There are people who care</div>
<div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
Find one and share your problems</div>
<div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
Then you may start to wobble</div>
<div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
And then you burst into tears</div>
<div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
But know that person still can hear</div>
<div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
And know that you are getting thru</div>
<div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
No longer does your anger brood</div>
<div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
And to those people receiving pain</div>
<div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
Know that the bully can explain</div>
<div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
Problems with his life</div>
<div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
But tell someone of your strife</div>
<div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
Don’t just sit alone, a stray</div>
<div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
Please don’t play that silent game</div>
<div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
All alone, no one there</div>
<div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
But like the bullies, people care</div>
<div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
You need help with this curse</div>
<div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
It has been afflicted on you</div>
<div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
But if you tell, it will be released
soon</div>
<div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
This has to do with everyone</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
And please don’t take this poem for
fun<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: ZH-CN;"> </span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: ZH-CN;">By
Damian Angelidis</span></div>
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<![endif]--><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;">A version of this post previously published at my <a href="http://www.workingmother.com/blogs/mom-mayhem-missions-and-more/kid-speaks-out-against-bullying-%E2%80%93-lesson-all"><span style="text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;">blog on Working Mother.</span></a></span></div>
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<br />eangelihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03283227153127507342noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2035817613746903477.post-51537305066631572202015-08-23T06:33:00.001-07:002015-08-23T06:33:27.406-07:00Teaching Your Kids to Problem Solve<div class="MsoNormal">
A few years back, I called home on my return from a business trip. My husband laughingly asked me to talk to <a href="http://balancingmotherhoodcareer.blogspot.de/2012/07/a-perfect-day-jimmy-johns-south-lake.html">my middle son</a>
about advice he received from his 5 year old sister. His voice had no
laughter in it as he indignantly shared, “She told me solve my own
problems!” And then he added for the benefit of everyone in earshot of
the phone, “She heard that from mom!!”</div>
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As I hung
up, I thought about that advice, which I know I give on a relatively
frequent basis. I love to help out my kids (and just about anyone else
who will let me, if I am completely candid). I am a fixer. In fact,
nothing makes me happier than solving something for someone. And my
kids, pictured here at <a href="http://ethiopianties.blogspot.de/2013/07/happy-fifth-birthday-to-my-little.html">my daughter’s 5th birthday party</a>, are dearer to me than anyone on the planet. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_TWN8WGS9o0PuLbZUutwzScZoG9WgnH5EWjZMb2QANdXvcxJHPXm9HHfE6i3XQSOV4OLeBYtruDIi4xiTreFKeBXIuSgziqptTLtZqggB7xrP5UMEu0_Xnnjk5Eq8xqnjWwqk9D5jqAQ/s1600/three+on+leyla%2527s+5th+2013.2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="259" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_TWN8WGS9o0PuLbZUutwzScZoG9WgnH5EWjZMb2QANdXvcxJHPXm9HHfE6i3XQSOV4OLeBYtruDIi4xiTreFKeBXIuSgziqptTLtZqggB7xrP5UMEu0_Xnnjk5Eq8xqnjWwqk9D5jqAQ/s320/three+on+leyla%2527s+5th+2013.2.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<a href="http://balancingmotherhoodcareer.blogspot.de/2011/09/complete-trust-motherhood-reward-and.html">When we were living in Luxembourg, my elder son </a>had his phone and wallet stolen. I could see he felt violated,
frustrated and a more than a little heart broken. We discussed how he
would need to either replace or get by without the stolen items for a
period. I had a truly sick feeling in the pit of my stomach that I
could not make this right for him. I was so sorely tempted to just say I
would buy everything for him again.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But I knew
this was a valuable life lesson I should not deprive him of because of
my need to fix stuff. He had not been as careful as he should have been
with valuable property. Part of me hated he had to lose his innocence
and trust so early. But another part was glad the lesson came in a
reasonably, manageable package.</div>
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I found life can be<a href="http://balancingmotherhoodcareer.blogspot.de/2011/07/dropped-out-of-college-moved-to-europe.html"> hard and often bumpy</a>.
Often I needed to rely on myself and problem-solve my way out of tough
situations – some of my own making. I want my children to have that
capacity as well. I will not always be there for them which is a
painful realization. A very challenging part of my job is teaching them
to take care of themselves and letting them learn some things through
experience. I find it much less satisfying as a mother, at least in the
moment, but frankly more important for my kids. My role is <a href="http://balancingmotherhoodcareer.blogspot.de/2011/12/reflections-on-diversity-and-when-does.html">to prepare them</a> for the rest of their lives. My teenager is on the brink which is a bittersweet reminder for me most days.</div>
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That
evening after returning late from the police station to report the
items stolen, I sat down with my son. I told him how truly sorry I was
this happened to him but I hoped it would be a valuable lesson<a href="http://balancingmotherhoodcareer.blogspot.de/2012/08/motherhood-challenge-teaching-your-kids.html">through figuring out what to do</a>.
I appreciated that you didn’t just get mad at me.” I was touched and
realized there is more than one way to help. Sometimes just being
available and supportive is enough: one lesson learned by my son and
another learned by this mom.<br />
.
He responded with uncharacteristic seriousness and said, “Thanks for
supporting me.<br />
<br />
A version of this post previously published on my blog <a href="http://www.workingmother.com/blogs/mom-mayhem-missions-and-more/motherhood-lesson-teaching-your-kids-problem-solve">Mom, Mayhem Missions and More </a>on Working Mother. eangelihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03283227153127507342noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2035817613746903477.post-46496388382763635382015-07-30T08:10:00.000-07:002015-08-04T02:10:10.320-07:00Balancing is Like Juggling: Dropping Things is Part of Perfecting the ArtI find when I am distracted or need to focus on something new, I can
no longer maintain my hard won balancing act. When I went through an international move – new country, new role, new home, new most
everything. I found myself often frustrated I couldn't seem to accomplish
what I was able to before. Writing only happened occasionally. My motivation to exercise and eat right seems to
have fled or at least gone into hibernation.<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
When
I found a moment for a bit of yoga at home, some clarity appeared while
I studiously maintained a "down dog." I could hear the voice of my <a href="http://terra-yoga.com/">amazing instructor</a>
who I have not seen in too long, echoing in my head – “be kind to your
body, be kind to yourself.” I realized I had unrealistic expectations
of myself (okay probably of others too). I need to admit when big
changes happen something has to give. I wasn’t a failure. But like the
juggler, I needed to find a new rhythm to work in the additional objects
or juggle the existing ones in a new environment. Easier said than
done for me. I feel accomplished when I can cross stuff off a list
whether on paper or in my head. But I am trying to re-program my
thinking. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My three kids started a new school at the same time -- an international one. It was a big change for all – for my
teenager because high school is a tough place to start over, for my
pre-teen because so is middle school, and for my youngest because this
was her first real school experience (which she was pretty excited about as you can see).<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhowI1hfwJUzhlfswjpnZ0KL8swlsoUS6IYL40O17uY9NHvgIPxZSiNc5791xMVkI-iDl8Yz5G9wA-l8jPzZBYkQaef8CIWf84sFUAcpMxXBsbn8OIy8aQE8hxdzliGCHk6YUlNBz7kFGg/s1600/leyla+first+day+of+school+excitment+2012+--+working+mother+2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhowI1hfwJUzhlfswjpnZ0KL8swlsoUS6IYL40O17uY9NHvgIPxZSiNc5791xMVkI-iDl8Yz5G9wA-l8jPzZBYkQaef8CIWf84sFUAcpMxXBsbn8OIy8aQE8hxdzliGCHk6YUlNBz7kFGg/s400/leyla+first+day+of+school+excitment+2012+--+working+mother+2.jpg" width="223" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Leyla's first day of school at ISL</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
My
husband was out of town that week and not optimistic about the overall
outcome with me in charge. But I assured him I was up for it (although I
was less certain in my own mind). I reviewed my calendar and pushed
off what I could. And I scheduled calls I could take outside of the
office for more time sensitive matters. My office time, I limited to
interviews and critical efforts. Despite this preparation, the week was
still insane. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Day one, I had to drive the boys
to the bus stop because we had not timed the "getting ready" part of
the morning right. How was I to know that styling your hair to go just
that way took so long and it was a bigger priority than an on time
arrival? I also apparently did not communicate well about changing an
interview time so I was scrambling to make it happen in the office at
the end of the day. The boys took the city bus after school and met me
at stop closest to my work. We took a page from the Indy pit-stop crews
with our handover of their sister, and her stuff, who had ridden in the
car with me. I ran into work to be almost on time. And they took their
sister home on the next city bus. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
After the
interview, I get a panicked call from my eldest. He could not find the
rental house keys (they had gotten in through the garage). I
walked outside to the bus stop hoping desperately I would find them
lying on the sidewalk. But no such luck. I then told my son he needed
to retrace his steps and do his best to find them. I could hear the
tears threatening in his voice but I wanted him <a href="http://balancingmotherhoodcareer.blogspot.it/2012/08/motherhood-challenge-teaching-your-kids.html">to take responsibility and problem solve</a>. I
then had a couple priority work calls with the US. After they were
completed, my cell phone rang again. I took a deep breath before
answering as I saw it was my son. His voice, in stark contrast to
earlier, was buoyant and exuberant as he exclaimed, “I found them,
Mom!!” He then described how he got back on the bus and followed his
path in reverse. He found the keys on top of a trashcan where he had
left them before boarding. I think he took extra pleasure from the fact
I had looked in that area and not seen them. He also shared how good
it felt to have solved the issue by himself</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Day
Two, I nearly missed picking up my daughter. School was 90 minutes for
her this first week which I discovered is not enough time to do
anything. Although I had tried, and this forced me to drive crazy rushed
back to school. Of course, I hit all the reds lights and was stuck
behind a few novice parallel parkers who blocked the road seemingly forever. Seeing my daughter as one of the two last kids in her class
triggered <a href="http://balancingmotherhoodcareer.blogspot.it/2010/04/surviving-bad-mommy-moments.html">my “mommy guilt”</a>, but she seemed oblivious as she happily chatted with her new classmate and teacher.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkTl76AQI3Ahyphenhypheni3q_xhjFRyvVJrno7lVTW5E6j_jAv3pT9nVRuf5HJZQGE_jXlm1xgqQgBE_AXc96MXMWA2MhoDHu_mFvWXBf_8KIUfJop8xoa9eIPOgogHzrjWI3x-LCipC0SlZ5ZwNY/s1600/parc+de+merl+2012.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkTl76AQI3Ahyphenhypheni3q_xhjFRyvVJrno7lVTW5E6j_jAv3pT9nVRuf5HJZQGE_jXlm1xgqQgBE_AXc96MXMWA2MhoDHu_mFvWXBf_8KIUfJop8xoa9eIPOgogHzrjWI3x-LCipC0SlZ5ZwNY/s400/parc+de+merl+2012.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Parc Merl Luxembourg</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
My
sons texted me at times during the week when they didn’t have someone
to talk to and felt awkward at school. Each evening, we went to an
amazing local park – Parc Merl – where there was something for every age
from basketball hoops, slides, and merry-go-rounds. My eldest was
invited to a new friend’s house Friday night which ended the week on a
high note for him. I took the younger two for a shopping trip downtown
since I had seen a Dutch shop I enjoyed frequenting <a href="http://balancingmotherhoodcareer.blogspot.it/2011/07/dropped-out-of-college-moved-to-europe.html">when I lived in Holland</a>.
I should have known the store was closed when we found a parking spot
in front. I suggested a walk in the neighborhood as a consolation and
ended up having to explain to my eleven year old son what a “Gentlemen’s
club” is about. Another "benefit" of a new town you never know where
you will end up. We found a dodgy McDonald's which the kids loved and me a
bit less. But their gigantic smiles made up for everything else. It
wasn’t what we planned but they loved it any way.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
When
I reflected back on the week, I felt I had been there for my three during an
important transition. I also witnessed each of my beloved children
"grow up" a little as they adjusted to a new normal too. I didn't let
any big work balls drop (I did go in on Sunday to catch up when my
husband returned.) </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This was a good start for me to
learn balancing like juggling means things will drop sometimes – or I
have to be willing to let them go, knowing I can pick them up later at
the right time. I try to be kind to myself and to say <a href="http://www.workingmother.com/blogs/mom-mayhem-missions-and-more/making-%E2%80%9Cgood-enough%E2%80%9D-good-when-accepting-trade-offs-between-mothe">that is good enough</a>.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
A version previously published on my Working Mothers blog M<a href="http://www.workingmother.com/blogs/mom-mayhem-missions-and-more/balancing-juggling-%E2%80%93-dropping-things-part-perfecting-art">om, Mayhem, Missions and More</a>.</div>
<br />eangelihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03283227153127507342noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2035817613746903477.post-9127254258298557302015-04-19T18:39:00.001-07:002015-04-20T13:28:36.445-07:00International Women's Day #MAKEITHAPPEN<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<![endif]-->Recently, my company had it’s first formal <a href="http://www.internationalwomensday.com/">International Women’s day</a> celebration.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>On the day
after, we had sites from around the globe connect via video conference.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was asked to wrap up the event.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There were some amazing
speakers and I feverishly took notes as they spoke so I could identify
themes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I shouldn’t have worried: themes
just emerged – from people who were at early or later parts of their careers
and from different parts of worlds.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They
resonated with me:<br />
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<li><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"></span></span>Stories empower.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Role models inspire. We all need to encourage the women and little girls
in our lives to dream big and know all is possible for them including careers in STEM.</li>
<li>Taking initiative as a leader and over-coming
fear is a vital component of success for yourself and others.</li>
<li>Know what matters to you, what you need and
ask for it. </li>
<li><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"></span></span></span>Learn the skill of brutal prioritization and apply
it to all facets of your life.</li>
<li><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"></span></span>Use data and statistics as you make a case for
action or ask for what you need.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Make
them your friends; they have power.</li>
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I then shared my story including my inspiration which hit some of the
same themes.<br />
<br />
As women and as humans, we all have many roles. Professional roles like the one I have and the ones prior which ranged from my
most recent as Legal Director of France and the one furthest from my
formal education as an attorney as Director of Competitive Strategy and
Negotiation.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have the privilege in my
multiple roles across many years to collaborate with amazing women and men from
all walks of life and backgrounds.</div>
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<br /></div>
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It is humbling to remember why the day was created over 100
years ago and to celebrate all the progress we made since. We also need to acknowledge the work left to do.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The
opportunities I enjoy are thanks to those amazing women and men who came before
me, including my two amazing grandmothers who survived harrowing WWII
experiences including one living through a spouse in a concentration camps and one a
terminally one, supporting the Dutch resistance while raising their many children
(11 between them) in the most difficult of times, my amazing mother who
supported herself as of 17 and moved to the US while still a young woman to start a new
life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Another hugely influential “woman
to be” in my life is my little daughter.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Born in Ethiopia over 6 years ago, she experienced massive change and
challenges in her short life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Her
ability to fill a room with light and laughter while never shying away from the
tough question or difficult situation fills me with AWE.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I want her grown up world to provide girls
like her more opportunities than exist now.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Our roles often extend to spouse, friend, sister, cousin,
mentor, leader, team member and so many more.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>They all make up the mosaic of the person we are becoming over the arc
of our journey.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>More and more I see a
role I need to play in equalizing opportunities.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Two life events that made this part of my mosaic come starkly into
focus were <a href="http://balancingmotherhoodcareer.blogspot.com/2014/12/you-have-cancer.html">being diagnosed with cancer at 37</a> and <a href="http://ethiopianties.blogspot.com/2014/11/happy-birthday-happy-homecoming.html">bringing home our beautiful daughter on my 42nd birthday</a>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The first reminded me, in a way I couldn’t avoid, life is
precious and fragile and not guaranteed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Going through that experience made me want to leave this world a little
better place no matter how much time I was given.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And the second made me face the simple and
unfair fact that where you are born can make a huge difference in what path you
can pursue, especially as a little girl.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Because of life circumstances, country of birth, gender,
race or culture – or some other factor, many people have less opportunities.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>By supporting each other on International
Women’s day,<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">we take one step closer to making the same opportunities available
to all. </span>I see celebrating and standing
together for a common purpose as a beautiful part our humanity.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am proud to be part of the amazing group
that made our first celebration of IWD such a spectacularly special one.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Thank you all!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />eangelihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03283227153127507342noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2035817613746903477.post-80827948556924746512014-12-21T11:23:00.001-08:002014-12-21T11:23:50.125-08:00You Have Cancer<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Those words are so powerful.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>It has taken me 10 years to be able to write them down.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I feel ready to share now in hopes it can
help others who hear them or fear them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
realized as I thought about what to share, this will likely take me a
few posts.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This is Day One.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I remember the day I heard the words like it was
yesterday.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I remember distinct details which seem burned into my
brain. Generally, I have trouble remembering specifics of a few days ago if I don’t
write them down.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We lived in Chicago.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I was sitting at my cubicle desk enjoying the sunshine and the
excitement of a recent promotion and new role.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I got a call from my doctor to come in for my test results from a recent
relatively routine procedure.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I felt
they had done it in part to humor me since they knew I like to get concrete
information rather than probabilities whenever possible.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I told my husband Michael I would need to
stop by the office on my way home so would be a little later.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He immediately sensed something was
amiss asking, “Why do you have to come in?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>It can’t be good news.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I laughed
and told him, “You worry too much.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am
sure it is nothing serious.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I didn’t give it much more mind share as I wrapped up my day
and drove the few minutes to the medical building.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I waited until the doctor
could see me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When we were in the examining
room, he told me those simple words.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>“You have cancer.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I can't recall much about what else he said. It felt like airplanes were
landing in my head.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I saw his mouth
moving but could not hang on to the words as they danced around my
consciousness without any order.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I was a healthy 37 year old with two young boys – how could I have
cancer?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I had never even heard of this
type before: cancer of the uterine lining.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I nodded as he explained things which I couldn’t take in and
walked numbly to my car.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My whole world had
shifted and turned upside down in the span of minutes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I no longer saw the sunshine or even what was
happening around me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I called Michael as
I started to drive.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I felt tears freely flowing down my cheeks as I told him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I could hear the devastation in his voice and didn’t know what more to
say. I couldn’t quite wrap my mind around what I had just heard.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Surely this was a nightmare and I would wake
soon.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Instinctively, I called a friend who was a breast cancer
survivor and had lost her younger sister to the same disease when we worked
together.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She was a no nonsense high
powered executive.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She told me. “You
have to own getting yourself the best care.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>She offered to have any doctors I considered thoroughly checked out and
told me she was with me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I clung to her
words and confidence like a life raft in the middle of a choppy ocean.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
When I approached my home, panic and helplessness
began to wash over me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What was I going to
do?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How was this even possible?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I saw my husband sitting outside the house on
our front steps – tears streaking his handsome face.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>His look mirrored all that was running
through my head. It was almost too much to bear.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We hugged and cried – neither of us knew the right
words for what we were facing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Our boys
were seven and three.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We went through
the motions of a normal evening until they were in bed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I then slowly descended the stairs to our basement and lowered myself to the middle of the
floor.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I let the sobs and fear just roll
through my body like the waves of the ocean - -ebbing and flowing
continuously.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Michael came down to
check on me. Again I saw my worst fears reflected in his eyes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I asked him something I knew I needed, “You
need to act like everything is normal.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I can’t do this if every time I look at you I
see you expecting the worst.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I really
need you to do this for me.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span> </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Now I appreciate
what an impossible request this was but at the time it was so important to
me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was gearing up for a fight and I needed my best friend and life partner to be his confident self.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don’t panic about much and wanted to attack
this like I would any other complex challenge.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I gave myself the one evening to let the most unproductive emotions and
thoughts take center stage.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And I knew
in the morning, I would get to the business of making a plan to ensure I was
there for my family. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjck8WTVuYHdsqSRwg6gQIuF7tOdlHLQXk9tWfQnIA_c9gocpBx43758tr5xGhyphenhyphenNrZOsonz9dMMiDw6IhAJtJn-DYHO50q2-bdLeU4TW_X7uyYvc_vI2WfTavxjF8ZLCo0WuCXpjAdSFC0/s1600/2010+boys+streamwood.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjck8WTVuYHdsqSRwg6gQIuF7tOdlHLQXk9tWfQnIA_c9gocpBx43758tr5xGhyphenhyphenNrZOsonz9dMMiDw6IhAJtJn-DYHO50q2-bdLeU4TW_X7uyYvc_vI2WfTavxjF8ZLCo0WuCXpjAdSFC0/s1600/2010+boys+streamwood.jpg" height="400" width="255" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Damian 3 and Dimitri 7 -- 2004</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEio8Hm94_L2rnBMeR2RxolaRLcQ7RPunXmi1gBDg2b8LcvbmclqpbCufXWWKViqHPu9W_uLncLNGBLYib_-k4tpCSwELCvFhXogN6bFr4P1fH_KlKs5jOgFq3bYyPxrP941ZFwqKWLZvXw/s1600/2010+me+and+boys.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEio8Hm94_L2rnBMeR2RxolaRLcQ7RPunXmi1gBDg2b8LcvbmclqpbCufXWWKViqHPu9W_uLncLNGBLYib_-k4tpCSwELCvFhXogN6bFr4P1fH_KlKs5jOgFq3bYyPxrP941ZFwqKWLZvXw/s1600/2010+me+and+boys.jpg" height="263" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Me and the boys hanging out in our basement --2004</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
.<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
eangelihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03283227153127507342noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2035817613746903477.post-71216056080757306882014-08-13T07:53:00.000-07:002015-08-13T15:08:42.608-07:00Heaven Received Another Angel – her name is Maria Angelidou, my other mother<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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I first learned about Maria many years ago from her son
Michael, my now husband and then boyfriend. He, for lots of complicated reasons, couldn’t go back to his home country of Greece for an extended period. His voice cracked and his eyes filled when he shared with me how he much he missed seeing his dear mother. He is a large, self-confident man so seeing him wracked with such deep emotion was unexpected. I fell a little more in love with him at that moment as I saw his heart breaking from the extended separation from this amazing woman.</div>
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I didn’t get to meet Maria in person until a few years after we were married. Michael and I eloped before I started law school. We were young and broke and our families and friends were spread to the four winds so it made sense to us. When I graduated, I planned a celebratory trip to see friends and family in Holland where my parents are from. Maria very much wanted me to come to Greece too even although Michael still couldn’t travel there. Michael encouraged me to go. So with my elder sister as my traveling companion, I did. </div>
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Walking off the plane in the hot Greek sun that summer in 1994, it hit me as hard as the acrid air around me that I was going to stay with my new family, with no common language and none of whom I had never laid eyes on before. I had serious butterflies and nerves as I scanned the faces waiting outside the doors that open and closed with regularity as guests departed. </div>
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The welcome I received as it was my turn to walk through was what I would come to know as vintage Maria. It seemed half the town had showed up with flowers and signs in our honor. Most were extended family but the group also included many of their friends. A number were chosen, I learned later, because they spoke good English. It felt like we were arriving dignitaries.</div>
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I have never felt more welcomed, any place in my life. Maria insisted she was my “Mama” and NOT my “Mother in law”. She clearly articulated, “NO, in-law.” She had been learning English in preparation for our visit which touched me. She proclaimed, “My new daughter!” to everyone with a gorgeous smile on her beautiful face.</div>
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She was a total “food is love” person. Her cooking was sunshine, lively music and a warm lingering embrace all wrapped up into a present that continued to reveal and delight as I ate. I thought liked Greek food. But I came to realize I had never eaten the real thing before. What she served involved fresh ingredients ever so lovingly prepared often the better part of the day, there was no rushing perfection, and then served generously, family style. She was an artist, her medium the ingredients of her signature dishes. Seconds were a given, not an option.</div>
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Visitors of all types, young, old and in between, gravitated into her orbit, stopping by for a meal, a coffee, a cocktail or a conversation and a chuckle. Joyful laughter punctuated each visit. Maria was happiness and light and most of all unconditional love. I have so many wonderful memories of her from visits over the succeeding years including at our Greek wedding when Michael could finally return and at the baptism of each of our three children. The youngest, our only daughter, shares her name – Leyla Marie.</div>
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Maria’s life was not one of ease. I admired her more as I got to know about her from others and just spent time together, very often in the kitchen. My husband was born when she was still very young and they in many ways grew up together. He was her world and she was his hero. And their relationship was indescribably beautiful, spanning more than half a century.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiaWkVJtw1MexvX4YIy3Arl7u6ZpJ0vex-_EaWEzqUSIlPctW_jV3jGibTWxejZriZ-UOZuzRUIGLgIUNi2kuglXuJeiUIr5o-C2pI0IjYnXM5KfWkq117lueitDBydrPIgsvkxZaMdA7A/s1600/mama+and+michael.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiaWkVJtw1MexvX4YIy3Arl7u6ZpJ0vex-_EaWEzqUSIlPctW_jV3jGibTWxejZriZ-UOZuzRUIGLgIUNi2kuglXuJeiUIr5o-C2pI0IjYnXM5KfWkq117lueitDBydrPIgsvkxZaMdA7A/s1600/mama+and+michael.jpg" width="308" /></a></div>
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Hers was a life given in joyful service of others. She mothered everyone! And she did it because it was who she was. I remember waking up from naps that first
visit with my clothes pressed and an iced coffee sitting on the night stand. I told my husband, “She really doesn’t need
to do that for me. In fact, it makes me a little uncomfortable.” He said, “She does it because she wants
to. It makes her happy.” I was skeptical at the time but came to
understand the truth in those statements which humbled me.</div>
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In recent months, her body was failing her lovely spirit in
so many ways and life was a struggle.
Michael was with her when she sought and found a more peaceful
place. And I truly believe that was her
wish. Given we live half a world away
most of the time; the chances were rather slim they could be together in the
end but still it happened. And Michael
summed it up well when he shared, “She took care of herself this time for a change.”</div>
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Maria Angelidou left an immeasurable legacy of love and light. We will all dearly miss her presence with us
here. It is unimaginable to me to think
of Greece without her welcoming arms and smile there to greet me. But her soul lives on. I can see a bit if her
in so many places, including the face of her son, her daughters (including
myself), her loving husband of 55 years, her grandchildren, and in the amazing food
she patiently taught us to cook. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSoTLiDNENG6bOmC5p6O0bUM_5SJiQa9nFhZGhI-sUB6YHMwP4e6Ak6jDRalSeL3mvIjKHo-42ZdZhvDr4LZBHTlEHrfxbMn2BCdElgRN-3osc-Y7VlH6v67uUOi-sjEs610OPJRptneA/s1600/mama+and+family.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="293" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSoTLiDNENG6bOmC5p6O0bUM_5SJiQa9nFhZGhI-sUB6YHMwP4e6Ak6jDRalSeL3mvIjKHo-42ZdZhvDr4LZBHTlEHrfxbMn2BCdElgRN-3osc-Y7VlH6v67uUOi-sjEs610OPJRptneA/s1600/mama+and+family.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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Bravo, Maria Angelidou, you lived well! </div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #212121; font-family: inherit; font-size: 29px; font-weight: lighter; line-height: 36px; white-space: pre-wrap;">Σ 'αγαπώ πολύ</span></div>
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eangelihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03283227153127507342noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2035817613746903477.post-37276631009272198892014-05-11T14:04:00.001-07:002015-09-30T21:30:03.851-07:00Mother's Day -- Reflecting on What Motherhood Taught Me So Far . . <div class="MsoNormal">
Mother’s Day is very
special to me. I <a href="http://balancingmotherhoodcareer.blogspot.fr/2010/05/happy-mothers-day-across-three.html">honor my mother</a> and all the <a href="http://balancingmotherhoodcareer.blogspot.fr/2012/05/sisterhood-of-friends-and-mothers.html">women who have mothered me</a> over the years. Also, as a mom now myself, I feel this is a day I
earned unlike my birthday or other popular holidays. It is a day I find myself reflecting on
how becoming a mom, through both biology and <a href="http://www.adoptivefamiliescircle.com/blogs/post/adoption-my-view-five-years-into-the-journey/">adoption</a>, changed so much of how I see myself and the world. </div>
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Trying to capture what being a mom taught me is like catching the wind; it
is both illusive and invisible. But
here is my Top Ten for 2014:<o:p></o:p></div>
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<ol>
<li>Unconditional love is an amazing blessing and an incredible burden. When one of my children tells me, “I love you, Mom” or “You are the best, mom,” I experience a bit of what I expect heaven must
be. But I die inside a little each time,
and the pain is physical, when I worry something happened to one of my kids like
when they are lost (my second made this a habit for a period) or hurt (my eldest tested different ways) or scared (my littlest has moments of fear that haunt me).</li>
<li>My kids teach me probably as much as I teach them although not always in
expected ways. By being uniquely their
own people, they just approach life and relationships with their own lens. My eldest is fearless (his bucket list makes me queasy); my second can find joy in the details (who knew there could be so many), and my youngest is song and dance combined (I live in a musical with her). The
more I am open to this, the more I see things I might have otherwise missed.</li>
<li>Each child is unique. And they
are different at each stage of their life. Treating each fairly doesn’t mean
treating them the same. They often need
something special from me. And at each
phase what they need evolves usually just as I thought I had a handle on it. Keeping up
is not easy as I now have children who are 6, 13 and 17.</li>
<li>My kids are only mine to help on this part of their own journey. <a href="http://www.adoptivefamiliescircle.com/blogs/post/where_is_her_mother/">Adoption helped me see this so</a> starkly
although it was always true. As a mom, it was an important, although rather uncomfortable, epiphany for me. I want to claim them but have come to realize they will ultimately need to claim the relationship we have as adults when they are grown.</li>
<li>To assist my children effectively, I need to truly work to understand where they are
coming from and who they are, deep inside their most private selves, even as
they are constantly changing and may not share or even know
themselves. Having two teenagers and a complicated kindergartner highlights this challenge for me.</li>
<li>I am on my own journey which is only somewhat further down the path. As
I continue to grow as a person, I must apply those learnings to this
role. I need to be brutally honest with myself and work to identify and face
things I haven’t figured out so I don’t project them
on my kids. Keeping this awareness is not simple.</li>
<li>I must accept the painful truth that my best will not always be good
enough to give my kids what they need.
Even more painfully, there are some days I am not even my best. Explaining and apologizing to my children is necessary so they understand we are
all human and we all fail.</li>
<li>Having a partner in <a href="http://www.balancingmotherhoodcareer.blogspot.ie/2011/08/how-to-balance-two-careers-and-three.html">parenting is a priceless gift</a>. Mothering is not for
the faint of heart and sharing the experience with my husband and best friend
makes the joys more joyous and the lows more manageable. Plus a timely
hand-off of a child who has tested my patience and understanding to it's breaking point has more than once saved my sanity.</li>
<li>Being a good friend and mother to myself so I am in tune to <a href="http://www.workingmother.com/blogs/mom-mayhem-missions-and-more/working-mother-lesson-need-vocation-bliss-and-purpose-measure">what I need to feel complete </a>is a huge part of being the best mom to my kids I
can be. My early mothering years would
have greatly benefited from this realization and investment</li>
<li>Laughter and <a href="http://balancingmotherhoodcareer.blogspot.fr/2012/10/hug-me-like-you-are-happy-with-me.html">HUGS</a> are two of the best antidotes for whatever motherhood
and life throws at me. If I genuinely
laugh out loud and hug with feeling one of my children, we can then get to the other side of any issue
together. </li>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgAXpbTy4l8WuV8Vfu1V-BL-jFi4lKD5ddqp3mPO4CizHwK1vt6WLE7FX8AT3j4Hg0jJNue0TGqrG8K-61I75hpQdykhueyl1Tp_b1Q1pKTdZ7LBpinTy2yY5OYHVMG76hQEuZADcpICRk/s1600/rome+2014+1+006+dimitri+leyla+mick+me+bella.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgAXpbTy4l8WuV8Vfu1V-BL-jFi4lKD5ddqp3mPO4CizHwK1vt6WLE7FX8AT3j4Hg0jJNue0TGqrG8K-61I75hpQdykhueyl1Tp_b1Q1pKTdZ7LBpinTy2yY5OYHVMG76hQEuZADcpICRk/s1600/rome+2014+1+006+dimitri+leyla+mick+me+bella.jpg" width="231" /></a>Thank you to my
amazing kids for making me a mom. Thank
you to my best friend for sharing this parenting journey with me. I love each one of you with my whole heart (love multiplies with each new member – who
knew?)! I am so proud of the people you are
becoming - -kids and adults. I look forward to a lifetime
of learning, and more importantly, of laughter and of <o:p></o:p>hugs! </div>
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Sharing some priceless memories we made this amazing Mother's Day weekend in Rome.</div>
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Happy Mother's Day to every mother or person who has been mothered or mothered another! May learning and laughter and hugs be part of your journey.<br />
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eangelihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03283227153127507342noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2035817613746903477.post-14365378930883273332014-03-23T04:14:00.001-07:002014-03-25T06:13:55.286-07:00You do make a difference . . .to me<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">I interviewed a candidate at my job a while back. As I talked to him, I was humbled.
He was a super smart guy with an MBA from a well respected school, but that
wasn’t it. He was quite personable and articulate, but that wasn’t it either.
He previously served in the armed forces. Part of his responsibilities were
overseeing reconstruction work in Afghanistan. I probed him with questions to
determine if he would be up to the tasks the role he was interviewing for
required. His answers elicited a bifurcated response from me. The first was an
analytical one of the interviewer assessing the specific examples and details
in his answers to determine if they indicated the skills and aptitude to
transition into this civilian position. The second was awe. Here was a twenty
something who was an instrumental part of building schools for girls half way
around the world which would afford them their first opportunity at a better
future. He assisting in rebuilding village infrastructure for people who had
become accustomed to living without these basic services.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFz_q0uNK30rLtvaOUX255_TsdDHDeNImEWhgoGIJgYYOdPWKA5YAsY_xHAd_wRMrG7Zqonye8SitSRlciJ1WsV1V-8VS0iIzWDvn1228rRIK8m4PTI4I686-EfT4Yh-DtnhWy-b9Sim8/s1600/essense+family+ethio+--+bahir+dar.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFz_q0uNK30rLtvaOUX255_TsdDHDeNImEWhgoGIJgYYOdPWKA5YAsY_xHAd_wRMrG7Zqonye8SitSRlciJ1WsV1V-8VS0iIzWDvn1228rRIK8m4PTI4I686-EfT4Yh-DtnhWy-b9Sim8/s1600/essense+family+ethio+--+bahir+dar.jpg" height="266" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">After the
interview, I returned to my office and reflected. I have a good job and like
what I do. But is it important in the big scheme of things? Does what I do
matter? Have I made a positive difference in the world? These questions hung in
the air. A friend, who also happened to <a href="http://balancingmotherhoodcareer.blogspot.ie/2014/02/choosing-who-you-spend-time-with-when.html">work with me at the time</a>, stopped by to talk about a
work issue. I mentioned to him what I was thinking. He is involved with non
profits as I am. (the family is pictured on our trip to <a href="http://ethiopianties.blogspot.ie/2014/01/coming-together-to-make-impossible.html">visit our first Ethiopia Reads Library</a>) And I know he also is concerned about the larger impact he has.
He listened to me describe the interview and my reflections. There was a
momentary, what seemed to me, lengthy pause. I wasn’t sure what to think. Then he responded, “I don’t know if this means anything to you, but you made a
big difference in my life.” I told him it does truly mean something to me. And
he walked away. After he was out of sight, I let my eyes fill with the tears I
had been holding back at his words. His direct statement took my breath away.
It was so powerful in that moment. In his simple words, he affirmed me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br /></span></div>
<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;">Is it that simple? Is that what we need to do to
make <a href="http://www.workingmother.com/blogs/mom-mayhem-missions-and-more/working-mother-lesson-need-vocation-bliss-and-purpose-measure">a differenc</a></span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><a href="http://www.workingmother.com/blogs/mom-mayhem-missions-and-more/working-mother-lesson-need-vocation-bliss-and-purpose-measure">e in the lives of those we cross paths</a> with? I would not have
known that I had this impact on his life if he hadn’t told me. This experience
encouraged me to more consistently reach out and tell people the positive
impact they have made in my life. I don’t assume they know... I didn’t. I did
this now on a few occasions since, including to the original person I
interviewed who was offered and accepted the job. I was amazed to find I
received similar reactions back from them to the one I had. I appear to have
inadvertently stumbled on a pay it forward activity with an immediate pay back. </span><br />
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(First version published on <a href="http://www.workingmother.com/blogs/mom-mayhem-missions-and-more/you-do-make-difference-me">WorkingMother.com</a>)eangelihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03283227153127507342noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2035817613746903477.post-70058782929829477802014-02-18T04:04:00.003-08:002014-02-18T08:51:54.376-08:00Happy Birthday to My Two Sons! Today I am the Mom of TWO Teenagers; How Did this Happen?<div class="MsoNormal">
In my blogs I more often
write about my youngest, <a href="http://www.ethiopianties.blogspot.ie/">our only girl</a>.
Writing about teenagers is complex and wrought with peril of all
kinds. So out of respect for my boys’
wishes and our relationships, they generally don’t appear frequently and when
they do, it involves a younger version. I
am making a mom exception for this post.
<o:p></o:p></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSca_nKZNAukILiSkxU7vtPm9NKRGpHctorjoXD47e2GAQHlmq78ogJlemKEEaimq30omc-DPMrt_8xMFYtaNuzKcueogvJ6mi40gPP28O4iBs0FHXRseCWcjezOzSnp4aU-cQtpsI5LA/s1600/img039.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSca_nKZNAukILiSkxU7vtPm9NKRGpHctorjoXD47e2GAQHlmq78ogJlemKEEaimq30omc-DPMrt_8xMFYtaNuzKcueogvJ6mi40gPP28O4iBs0FHXRseCWcjezOzSnp4aU-cQtpsI5LA/s1600/img039.jpg" height="320" width="225" /></a>My boys share a
birthday which is a special thing. They
were both born on the same day in February four years apart. My husband was still <a href="http://balancingmotherhoodcareer.blogspot.ie/2010/08/babies-and-basketballs.html">a full time basketball coach</a> and teacher then. I didn’t see him
much from November through February. So
I wanted my first child born in March.
And I did the math and was delighted when his due date was March 3. But he had the bad grace to come two weeks
early making his birthday in the middle of play-offs. </div>
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When we were ready to have baby number two, I
did the math again and was hoping for a more cooperative child. This one too had a March 3 due date but like
his brother decided on an early rather than on time arrival. He managed to join our family just 45 minutes
after his brother’s birthday began which allowed his dad to finish coaching his
basketball game.<br />
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Looking back I am
amazed that 17 and 13 years have passed already. I remember them both vividly as infants as if
they were in my arms yesterday: my eldest as a tiny baby with a shock of black
hair that disappeared to reveal a beautiful bald head until his brown hair grew
in; my second as a large infant with no hair but early teeth who was constantly consumed
by his voracious appetite.<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEje5qagQaA0KSVWl0YCTHBhyphenhyphentZd3IxlRSq6JjeyLlj2Z7ISBU7VJtQ5Bpwt7C0_dm5JeL5lLG9uLWiaEznhOgxsWD1CSamz9HMMmCCEmZqBRC5rfEzJuQJng2md_UcYdbXxaZl-N62zUAM/s1600/img087.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEje5qagQaA0KSVWl0YCTHBhyphenhyphentZd3IxlRSq6JjeyLlj2Z7ISBU7VJtQ5Bpwt7C0_dm5JeL5lLG9uLWiaEznhOgxsWD1CSamz9HMMmCCEmZqBRC5rfEzJuQJng2md_UcYdbXxaZl-N62zUAM/s1600/img087.jpg" height="211" width="320" /></a></div>
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As they are now no
longer those sweet babies, or the little boys that followed so quickly after, but rather young men, I find it harder to fully convey how
much I love them, how proud I am of who they are becoming and how big my dreams
are for their future. I am also painfully
aware that each year that passes means they hold back a little bit more for
themselves and there is a little less we share.
I know our time together is numbered.
So it is with bittersweet tears, I want to share my wish for each of
them in a way that conveys my heart without totally embarrassing teen sensibilities
(fingers crossed).</div>
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My first born, my
Dimitri, you made me <a href="http://www.balancingmotherhoodcareer.blogspot.ie/2011/03/motherhood-my-leap-of-faith-okay-maybe.html">a mom 17 years ago today</a> and that day changed the course
of my life and priorities forever. You
are your father’s son in a number of ways with your competitive spirit and
mercurial nature. However, many of your
interests and pursuits are ones we share.
You have a heart of gold and loyalty that runs through your core. You are a creative free spirit who is
comfortable in your own skin in a manner many adults would envy. You know your mind and provide flashes of
depth of thought and ideas that make me want to learn more. You are a big brother your siblings adore even
though having a pre-teen, now teen, brother hasn’t been easy for you (or
him). Your <a href="http://balancingmotherhoodcareer.blogspot.ie/2013/01/motherhood-surprises-bond-of-brothers.html">brother still uses you</a> as a
yardstick for what he wants to accomplish.
Your sister views you as her port in a storm; the one she can count on
when she is afraid or the world doesn’t make sense. You have a way with creatures of all kinds
that always amazed me. Your talents and
gifts are many and varied although I know you find the way ahead murky. I want you to take all your best qualities
and carve a path for yourself that makes you excited to wake up every morning and
gives your life joy and meaning.</div>
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Dimitri Orestes
Angelidis – I love you with my whole heart and wish the best for you in this
last year before you officially become a young adult. May you find at least some of the answers you
seek.</div>
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My second born, my
Damian, you made me want to have more kids after your sunny nature graced our
family. You challenged my ability to
survive without a good night’s sleep for two years and made me discover things
about myself I never knew. You march to
the beat of your own drum and live in a different world from the physical one
most of us inhabit. Yours is a happy place
full of laughter and music and movement.
I watch you and wonder what goes on in your mind. You make people smile just by being you and
your bear hugs cocoon the lucky recipient in a blanket of warmth. You are my child in many ways including your
private nature for the deepest parts of you and for your stubbornness in things
you view as right. However, you live in
the moment and enjoy the ordinary as I wish I could more freely. Your thoughtfulness and ability to use <a href="http://www.balancingmotherhoodcareer.blogspot.ie/2011/05/mom-love-poem.html">poetry to connect</a> is enviable. As <a href="http://balancingmotherhoodcareer.blogspot.ie/2011/04/middle-child-solution-food-is-love.html">a middle child</a>, you are both an adoring younger brother and an entertaining older
one. You are a conundrum combining math
skills and writing as well as the ability to lose anything you touch. Although you feel things acutely, you aren’t
always comfortable sharing. I want you
to see all the power and good in yourself and in those around you; then take both
and rock the world.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Damian Michael
Angelidis – I love you to the moon and back and wish you peace and courage as
you enter your teen years. May you make
the most of this intense journey of self-discovery.</div>
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You both blessed my
life in ways I cannot find words to adequately express and it chokes me up to even try. I am a lucky, lucky person to be your mom! Happy Birthday my two awesome sons!</div>
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<o:p></o:p></div>
eangelihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03283227153127507342noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2035817613746903477.post-4449123663165249882014-02-09T09:05:00.000-08:002014-02-09T09:05:48.005-08:00Choosing Who You Spend Time with When You Are Away From Your Children<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">I recall
listening raptly to a speech by a prominent senior female executive early in my
career. One statement she made stuck with me over the years. “If you are going
to spend time away from your kids, make sure it is doing something you love
with people you care about.” I also heard a related comment later, “We spend
much time selecting who we will date or marry. But we rarely dedicate time to
choose who we work with, even though we often spend more time with them.”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br /></span></div>
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<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I ad</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">mit I
generally was more focused on my role versus the team I was joining until the
last decade. I was asked recently to describe the best team I had ever been on
and what made it great. Each meeting participant was asked to do the same. As
we went around the table, I heard common themes emerge. For me, my best team
was one where I hired every member of the team. A number of years back, I was asked to
take on a role which required crafting a strategy and building a team from
scratch for a key effort.</span></div>
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<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br /></span></div>
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<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">What was it
that makes that team special? I wanted to understand as an intellectual exercise.
But I also want to know for the very practical reason that I wanted to recreate the magic of a synergistic group as I move to other roles. I
was amazed at how much could be accomplished with joy in the process and the
people. I came away with a list of traits I now seek when I choose those to
spend time with when I am not with my beloved family:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;"><br clear="all" style="page-break-before: always;" />
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<b><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Top Five
Individual Qualities</span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">First, they are
irrational optimistic. They believe it can be done. In the face of obstacles,
they persevere because they know the solution is out there.</span></div>
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<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br /></span></div>
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<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Second, they
are secure individuals who enjoy collaboration. They understand much more can
be done together when credit is not an issue. They work to bring out the best
in and learn from each other.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br /></span></div>
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<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Third, they are
a good balance of the analytical left brain and creative right brain. They can
dig into the details and measure success. But they can also create a compelling
vision that inspires, and sell it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br /></span></div>
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<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Fourth, they
are hungry and impatient. They never think we are moving fast enough. They are
owners, willing to do whatever it takes, with no ego involved.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br /></span></div>
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<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Fifth, they
embrace that what they are doing matters and want to make a positive impact.
They look at their <a href="http://www.workingmother.com/blogs/mom-mayhem-missions-and-more/working-mother-lesson-need-vocation-bliss-and-purpose-measure">role as a type of calling</a> rather than a job.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br /></span></div>
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<b><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Top Five Team
Qualifications:</span></b><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">First, the
group is bonded and cheer each individual as well as team success. They share
trust and support each other's priorities outside the office, especially ones
related to family.</span></div>
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<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Second, the
group allows everyone to work in the way that suits them; no judgment. They do
it with consideration for what is ultimately best for each member and the
whole. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br /></span></div>
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<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Third, <a href="http://www.incultureparent.com/2011/01/family-evolution-the-meaning-of-multicultural/">thegroup celebrates diversity</a> and has a lot of it in all forms: male and female,
ages, backgrounds, cultures, experience, views, abilities and strengths.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br /></span></div>
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<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Fourth, a sense
of joint ownership runs through the group. They embrace the ideal they only win
as a team and any failure is shared. They have a <a href="http://ethiopianties.blogspot.fr/2012/09/what-is-success.html">single minded focus on achieving a common vision</a>.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br /></span></div>
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<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Fifth, the
group <a href="http://balancingmotherhoodcareer.blogspot.fr/2012/03/snow-day-escaping-from-past.html">knows how to have fun</a>, and to enjoy the process and each other. They take
pressure off as well as share the load and laughs frequently.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br /></span></div>
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<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Thank you to this amazing team for teaching me some powerful lessons and for joining me on this
journey. I hope some of us find ourselves on another team together down the
road. Thank you to the teams since that have shared many of these qualities. </span></div>
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<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br /></span></div>
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<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">And I hope those reading, and my kids when it is their turn, get a chance
to participate in this type of synergy in action.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
eangelihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03283227153127507342noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2035817613746903477.post-66929122973209692012014-01-05T04:45:00.000-08:002015-12-26T12:36:47.346-08:00Ten Eye-Opening Things I Learned About Myself by Using a Fitbit<br />
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<b><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 18pt; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Ten Eye Opening Things I Learned About Myself By Using a
Fitbit<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">A friend of
mine raved about her <a href="http://www.fitbit.com/"><span style="color: blue;">fitbit</span></a>.
And she is someone who rarely gushes so I was intrigued. I thought $100
for what essentially seemed like a pedometer was a little steep. But I
went ahead and bought it and then started using it. Immediately, I began
to learn surprising things about myself:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">First , I don’t
move very much. I considered myself pretty active but when at the end of
the day the fitbit read 3000 (okay to be totally honest sometimes I didn’t
break 2000) steps it was hard to hold on to that image.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Second, I eat a
lot. I graze and generally try to stay with healthy snacks but those 50
and 100 calorie snacks really add up. A little here and there
ends up equaling a hefty amount of calories at the end of the day.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
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<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Third, my
metabolism is not the problem. I believed as I was aging and had gone
through “the change” quite early that I had as I would happily tell others,
“the metabolism of an old woman.” Turns out, I don’t. I just eat
more than I move – see above.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Fourth, I was
lying to myself. The numbers didn’t lie; but I had been less than honest
with myself for some time. One pound is roughly 3600 calories. To
make an unwanted one go away, I needed to burn that many excess calories.
At 100-500 extra calories burned a day, I needed to expend
both time and effort to achieve a 10-15 pound (taking in
less 36,000-54,000 calories than I useed) weight loss goal. It
wasn’t that “I just can’t lose those extra pounds.” I wasn’t willing to
do what the math required.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Fifth, I really
enjoy getting credit. When each step was counted, I found myself looking
for opportunities, even small ridiculous ones like walking around the moving
elevator – assuming no one else was in there – to get more steps. I
felt like a success when I hit 10,000 steps in a day and would plan where I
could get steps in as I looked at my daily schedule. Who knew that
walking back and forth during a kid’s soccer game rather than sitting in a
chair could net me 5,000 or more steps.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Sixth, I was
wrong about little changes not being enough. I used to scoff at those
suggestions to park your car far away from the store entrance. In my
head, I would say “Really, how about 45 minutes on the elliptical if you want
something to happen.” Except now, I no longer want to give up 45 minutes
of a day to something that doesn’t give me joy, help someone else, or
involve my family. And those little efforts do really add up as I found
when I looked at my total at the end of the day and the results at the end of a
few months.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Seventh, I do
have 15-30 minutes most days I can devote to walking. It may
not be all at once or the same time each day but it’s there if I look for
it. It may be taking the stairs, walking to the bathroom down the hall,
or getting my coffee from the Starbucks a few blocks away. Just that
awareness made finding it easier for me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Eighth, I can
gain significant physical health benefits that I sorely need without making
huge changes. I lost 17 pounds over the course of nine months, had more
energy, and my blood pressure improved. Wow, why did I wait so long <a href="http://www.workingmother.com/work/just-start"><span style="color: blue;">to
start</span></a>??<o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Ninth, I can realize
real mental health benefits that I had not even considered by combining walking
with other things like reflecting, time with my children, or <a href="http://www.workingmother.com/social-media/working-mother-challenge-be-present"><span style="color: blue;">walking with a friend</span></a>. As I walked with my
kids, by myself, with my dog, or with even a colleague instead of a coffee
meeting, I found new ways to connect to those I care about, more time
to wrestle with <a href="http://balancingmotherhoodcareer.blogspot.com/2011/05/do-you-need-to-be-mother-to-appreciate.html"><span style="color: blue;">deeper questions</span></a> (just being outside more lifted
my spirits in ways I would not have imagined), and even came up with solutions
to some thorny work challenges. Two of my favorite walking buddies
-- my daughter and my pup -- are pictured.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Tenth, I
really enjoy sharing when I find something powerful -- it feels like a
multiplier of the positive effect. I have told more people about fitbit
than I can count. I am still so surprised that something so small and seemingly
insignificant could have brought such profound changes and learning in my
life. I feel like I was given a gift and it would be selfish of me not to
give others the same. Give it a try, you might be surprised.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhq1VMdrP3o-iDYbyC6VRNtOcuBAAdbPyjDD_lr7m4QpTOfB_Nel1H4YJV730ec5cU_ovLQkhNdLR2wzvgpaahiMOYYDhi1OzZKJePLTS_24CGgbNqLdamiUe-xgMipka6m1mdyPGaNPB8/s1600/mother's+day+misc+2012+207.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhq1VMdrP3o-iDYbyC6VRNtOcuBAAdbPyjDD_lr7m4QpTOfB_Nel1H4YJV730ec5cU_ovLQkhNdLR2wzvgpaahiMOYYDhi1OzZKJePLTS_24CGgbNqLdamiUe-xgMipka6m1mdyPGaNPB8/s400/mother's+day+misc+2012+207.JPG" width="400" /></a></div>
eangelihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03283227153127507342noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2035817613746903477.post-8325665463752345922013-08-19T03:08:00.000-07:002013-08-19T08:07:07.795-07:00Happy 22nd Anniversary -- Learning to Let Go and Grow<br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">When I look at my life so far, including being a mom and my professional achievements, and think about what I am most
proud of and what brings me the greatest joy, I have to say our 22 year union
is definitely at the top of that list.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A
<a href="http://balancingmotherhoodcareer.blogspot.gr/2013/07/motherhood-lesson-couple-time-is-so.html">long, fulfilling marriage</a> doesn’t just happen, much as the fairy tales of youth promised I just needed to find my prince and live happily ever
after.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I found it is definitely work,
tough get in the trenches through disappointments and challenges; take a good hard look at myself and what is most
important to me, stuff.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span> </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRsn-wKCXMJvRC5onTgVKKZgfg8UYsp_pgARkaTK5S598d0PN7w5Ix_O8kFAjncAjDksTqLTiZotGOlZWXRkEWYJ0qH0N2KEdpI6FBcWCK_-ym0ak-oWbwHEtg5zv-6cX7s6TQAR6KGxM/s1600/anniversary+pic.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRsn-wKCXMJvRC5onTgVKKZgfg8UYsp_pgARkaTK5S598d0PN7w5Ix_O8kFAjncAjDksTqLTiZotGOlZWXRkEWYJ0qH0N2KEdpI6FBcWCK_-ym0ak-oWbwHEtg5zv-6cX7s6TQAR6KGxM/s400/anniversary+pic.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">In getting married, I gave up a lot of what I cherished.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am extremely independent and self sufficient. By joining my life with Michael's on an August day two decades
prior, I had to take into account another's perspective. I have definite thoughts on the proper
“how” of many things – how the house should look, how to raise kids, how to
pursue a career, and the list goes on and on.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Marriage made those all up for discussion and debate.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I treasure solitude as an introvert who
lives in an extrovert world.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I need time
to fill back up what, putting myself out there for so much of the time, takes out.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sharing a domicile with
another (and then a few more) means solitude must be planned and sought out;
sometimes it is not even possible.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
like life steady. I have been described an unnaturally “Zen”
person.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Not much gets me upset or panicked.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I assume things will work out until faced
with unconverted evidence to the contrary.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>My spouse more often takes the first warning sign as an omen of terrible
things to come.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>His family and culture
seem to me to revel in huge ups and downs whether for matters of great gravity
or those of relative triviality.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Now I must
work harder to keep an even keel living alongside someone whose natural balance
includes wild swings.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Why then do I feel our marriage is one of my proudest
achievements and greatest joys?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is
because the more I let go, the more I am able to stretch my horizons to <a href="http://balancingmotherhoodcareer.blogspot.gr/2011/08/how-to-balance-two-careers-and-three.html">evolve and grow as a person.</a></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">The very hardest thing for me to surrender was the feeling of
maintaining control; which I fiercely guarded for years after we were married. I was fine making decisions together.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But I needed
to maintain a sense I was still in the driver seat of my life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But one October day, the steering
wheel was wrest violently out of my hands.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I could either
accept a co-pilot or . . . . .<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I was <a href="http://leanin.org/stories/ellenore-angelidis/">diagnosed with cancer at 37</a>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Devastated and terrified, I could see all my
emotions perfectly reflected on my love’s face when I shared the news.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I then made a request I know now was totally
unfair. I asked, “Can you please act like everything is normal or I don't think I can get through
this.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I lost control over my life and
was trying desperately to get it back.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>After a lengthy surgery, I wanted to get on my feet and get moving,
against the nurse’s instructions.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
recall a heated discussion at the hospital.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I couldn’t fathom why Michael did not get this was important to
me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He didn’t seem to appreciate how
helpless I felt and how much I hated that feeling.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We had two little boys who needed their mom
back.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And I wanted to hit the fast
forward button and put this nightmare in my rear view mirror, no matter the
cost.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">For a long time I was confused by Michael’s reaction and frankly a little hurt and disappointed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Life characteristically moved on and we relocated
cross country, both got new jobs and had a million different activities to take
up the time – so we never really resolved the disconnect.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Then I attended ceremony where Michael gave the key note address to
graduating high school students as they faced their futures.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I knew a bit of what he intended to say about
life altering events for him, including the birth of our first son who they feared had a life threatening condition, both his parents health crisis and my
run in with the “C” word.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">However, I heard more than I expected.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Michael's brown eyes filled and his deep voice
cracked trying to maintain composure while he shared his experience as the
spouse. I found tears welling and then freely rolling down my cheeks as he
described sitting for 6 hours, all alone, in the hospital waiting room and
praying, praying, praying . . while I was under the surgeon’s scalpel.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I realized I didn’t know he was alone.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I didn’t know the surgery took 6 hours.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And it hit me why he had the reaction he did
when I came out of surgery those years ago.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I could only imagine what it must have been like for him; his sense of
helplessness must have been equal to, if not greater, than mine.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Being married for 22 years provided me many opportunities to
learn and come closer to the person I would like to be.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Letting go of what appears so critical at the time, <a href="http://www.workingmother.com/blogs/mom-mayhem-missions-and-more/motherhood-lesson-what-load-balancers-and-power-outage-taught-me-?fb_action_ids=10201256798521766&fb_action_types=og.likes&fb_source=aggregation&fb_aggregation_id=288381481237582">often gives me great clarity and insight</a>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My
husband’s final words to the graduating class said it best, “What is more
important than all the success you seek to achieve, is to find someone you love
to share it with, as I have.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span> </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQq4umSZWxovphEQNIqK8BjGqeL5j2DM2wUhWktnmHeYMittss7ZjhCKFEB7eT2yjSHSxh_0Z3fCsKrRK76SmE-NN-pAdiJbTUj0_Q36k7c7zGoTOTEyZNVVDgKxmAeFd-EweT-oEujpc/s1600/anniversary+pic+mick+and+kids.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQq4umSZWxovphEQNIqK8BjGqeL5j2DM2wUhWktnmHeYMittss7ZjhCKFEB7eT2yjSHSxh_0Z3fCsKrRK76SmE-NN-pAdiJbTUj0_Q36k7c7zGoTOTEyZNVVDgKxmAeFd-EweT-oEujpc/s400/anniversary+pic+mick+and+kids.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<strong><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I love you Michael.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Happy 22<sup>nd</sup> anniversary!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Looking forward to the next 22!</span></strong></div>
<br />eangelihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03283227153127507342noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2035817613746903477.post-2803689859242825792013-08-04T04:47:00.000-07:002013-08-04T04:47:18.611-07:00"My Son is Getting Chemo"
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<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">My husband
asked me to accompany my nearly eleven year old son, Damian, for his minor surgery a few years back. Michael is not comfortable in hospitals. I agreed although the
thought of spending time there was not appealing to me either. My son
grumbled on the drive because he had not been able to eat or drink for most of
the day to prepare. He definitely <a href="http://balancingmotherhoodcareer.blogspot.com/2011/04/middle-child-solution-food-is-love.html">has enjoyed being well nourished</a> since
he was a baby. We laugh at his first picture where it looks
like he is sucking. The two of us arrived late afternoon and checked
in. </span></div>
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<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">As I was
filling out the paperwork, I overheard one nurse tell another, “We are behind
by at least an hour. This happens all the time and I wish they planned
better.” I asked for an update on our scheduled time and they confirmed
it was delayed. I pointed out it would have been easy to make a phone
call and let me know. We could then have avoided spending extra hours
at the hospital waiting around. I got the obligatory, “So sorry, there is
nothing we can do. This is hospital policy.” I felt talked down to
and that my even raising the question was somehow a breach of etiquette. </span></div>
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<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">The nurse then,
on her own initiative, got her supervisor to come by to tell me exactly the
same thing. Now I am starting to boil. I understood the words
perfectly the first time. Having them delivered by a person with some
authority did nothing to rectify the situation or make me feel validated.
In fact, it had the opposite effect. I was then told I was welcome to
file a complaint. I tried not to lose sight of why I was there - -<a href="http://balancingmotherhoodcareer.blogspot.com/2012/07/a-perfect-day-jimmy-johns-south-lake.html">to support my son</a> – although I was getting more upset about their efforts to
justify their actions than I was about the original delay. </span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5Mfxbj2rNJV7qCads3aJpR1CXc6Y4qlLjdgX5osZjg8Obuk55trCcM4y9IRUSx2VkpAzPaaO_ox5-j9IJ9LTL0TTjUxIKEZMzNf8Ej4n39CnBRdSNI_c2h1L_mQC1fo5L6DXNx9KE51g/s1600/damian+surgery+--+blog+post+chemo.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5Mfxbj2rNJV7qCads3aJpR1CXc6Y4qlLjdgX5osZjg8Obuk55trCcM4y9IRUSx2VkpAzPaaO_ox5-j9IJ9LTL0TTjUxIKEZMzNf8Ej4n39CnBRdSNI_c2h1L_mQC1fo5L6DXNx9KE51g/s320/damian+surgery+--+blog+post+chemo.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">To get my focus
back on track, I turned to my son and asked if he was glad I was there
with him. He replied, “I am happy you came, Mommy, because I am
scared.” Now I was refocused. I told him, “You don’t look scared,” as he
happily watched cartoons in his unflattering hospital gown. (He was none
too happy with having this memorialized as you can see.) He replied,
<a href="http://balancingmotherhoodcareer.blogspot.com/2011/12/reflections-on-diversity-and-when-does.html">“That’s because I am good at hiding it.”</a> Hmmm, not the response I
expected. My mind was taken back to when he was a toddler and not so good
at hiding his fears. We decided to go to an all-inclusive hotel in
Mexico for a family vacation. We settled on the only one with a
kids club that accepted 2 year olds. We discover another resort next
door with exciting options including turtles, black panthers and an underground
water way you could float down. We decided to see the animals and
experience the river. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">When we got to
the entry point of the stream, we were each given life jackets. Damian,
then two, excitedly pulled his on over this head. And he and I jumped
together into the unexpectedly frigid water and began floating with
the current. As we entered the underground caverns, Damian, no longer was
sure this was for him, started thrashing and pushing me down. I was
afraid for both of us. So I started singing nursery rhymes and asked him
to sing with me. As soon as he started belting out “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star,” <a href="http://balancingmotherhoodcareer.blogspot.com/2011/09/complete-trust-motherhood-reward-and.html">his body relaxed</a>. And he again floated peacefully with me inside the dark
spaces. We continued down this river tour with people laughing as they
passed by us or occasionally even joining in the impromptu caroling.
After serenading perfect strangers with every child friendly song we knew (and
a few twice), we arrived safely at the other side. His ability to change
his perspective, and focus on the something <a href="http://www.workingmother.com/blogs/mom-mayhem-missions-and-more/all-your-lifes-stage-facing-down-your-fears">other than his fear</a>, gave him a
whole new view of the experience.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Since we had
time, we decided to walk around a bit. After some
exploration of the hospital, we eventually received word the doctor was out of
his prior surgery. Damian was wheeled away for his turn. And I went
to find a Starbucks and get a much needed cup of coffee. I found
myself again reflecting on the annoyance of the unplanned late night and the unpleasant exchanges
of earlier. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">As I waited for
the elevator, another mother walked up and asked, “Done for the night?”
“No,” I replied. “They just took my son away for surgery.” She
smiled sympathetically and shared, “My son is getting chemo.” I quickly
retorted, “Oh, that’s worse.” She had the look of someone who knew too
much about the subject as she said wearily, “They are all bad.”
During our brief ride, she shared her son was 15, just about the same age as my eldest at
the time, and was being treated for lymphoma. I sensed she received some
small measure of comfort from what she perceived as our shared
experience. I did not have the heart to tell her my son’s surgery was of
a routine nature and nothing like what her son was battling. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
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<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I walked out of
the elevator feeling humbled and small. How could I complain about such
minor inconveniences when there were mothers, like this one,
facing down gut wrenching challenges? Why wasn’t I more grateful for the
health of my children? I realized for me too, like my son when he was a toddler, <a href="http://leanin.org/stories/ellenore-angelidis/">a change in perspective</a> made me instantly see things very differently.
I owe that mother a big "thank you" for the important reminder.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></div>
eangelihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03283227153127507342noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2035817613746903477.post-38760567350743868842013-07-20T17:27:00.000-07:002013-07-20T17:27:25.534-07:00Motherhood Lesson: Couple Time is So Vital And Yet So Hard to Find
<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Couple Vacation
– Selfish or Survival: I read this survey in a magazine while
my husband and I were enjoying a rare couple’s vacation in Hawaii. </span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhHhOu7RGK_VHr3MCAKB7jWiFFYe_neS01nn7mrffouGCpcXaflz8T7wyqgTTAB-B0WlHWEWT03w2LXJz_NA-VSNppj14iAEEyz_eyc9n004bER-eGbkySzNy9FaH0VBeneO5Jx1uYp7A/s1600/hawaii+mick+and+me.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="351" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhHhOu7RGK_VHr3MCAKB7jWiFFYe_neS01nn7mrffouGCpcXaflz8T7wyqgTTAB-B0WlHWEWT03w2LXJz_NA-VSNppj14iAEEyz_eyc9n004bER-eGbkySzNy9FaH0VBeneO5Jx1uYp7A/s400/hawaii+mick+and+me.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I
asked my husband what percent he thought said “survival.” He guessed 70%
-- the result was in fact 90%. Finding time for the two of us has been a struggle for me
since becoming a mom. My husband was my first priority in our early time
together although we were both busy with jobs, school and other
activities. We took a number of years to get to know each other before we
took the plunge and became parents. I vividly recall my fear when </span><a href="http://balancingmotherhoodcareer.blogspot.com/2011/03/motherhood-my-leap-of-faith-okay-maybe.html"><span lang="EN" style="color: blue; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">pregnant
with my first son</span></a><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> that bringing a child into our relationship might “ruin” it. We are
polar opposites in many respects and had worked hard to find balance and joy in
our diversity. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
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<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Our beautiful
baby boy, who bore a striking resemblance to his handsome dad, of course did
not ruin anything. I remember seeing my spouse’s eyes fill up when he was
handed our son in the hospital. And I couldn’t have felt more love for
him than I did at that moment. That scene, baby to dad, dad’s eyes fill
and my heart swells repeated itself with our second and third children although
the last hand off took place in a </span><a href="http://ethiopianties.blogspot.com/2009/11/first-meeting.html"><span lang="EN" style="color: blue; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">house
in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia</span></a><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">. In many ways, becoming parents brought us closer
and took our relationship to a much deeper level as we saw ourselves and each
other exhibited in various ways in our children. But making quality time
a priority was challenging in the context of a two working parent
household. We have only rarely taken a trip together. And date
nights are not a frequent occurrence either with all the kid and work activities.
When we did a good job of getting out together once a week for a period, it was
unusual enough for our eldest to ask why we all of a sudden needed to spend
that much time alone together. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">When we lived
apart for </span><a href="http://balancingmotherhoodcareer.blogspot.com/2010/07/adventures-of-chore-lady.html"><span lang="EN" style="color: blue; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">ten
months in 2005</span></a><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">, we learned how much we loved being in the same physical space and
reveling in the little moments of each day. But even following that
experience, we struggled to keep balance between our familial
relationships. Kids’ needs are immediate and demand attention. As a
working mom, I prioritized those in the time I had. I recall when we
brought a baby conure (a small parrot) home as a pet for my eldest.
We previously bought a parakeet from a local pet store that died within the
year which devastated him. Dimitri did his research to determine what
type of bird he wanted and I did mine to find a reputable a breeder. Any
baby has special requirements, even an aviary version. We needed to
acclimate it to our home and teach it skills which took time and
patience. And those duties fell to my eldest and me.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
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<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">About a week
after the little feathered one joined our family, my husband said to me in
his deep Greek accented voice. “I know I went down in your
priorities with the birth of each of our boys.” Our daughter had not yet
arrived. “I am okay being number three behind them. But if I am now
below the bird, we have a problem.” I laughed out loud. Although looking
at his face, I could see he was quite serious. It is a line I remember
when I realize I am starting to take our relationship for granted. </span></div>
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<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">We
have our whole lives so it is easy to think I have time to focus on it
later. He is a </span><a href="http://balancingmotherhoodcareer.blogspot.com/2011/08/how-to-balance-two-careers-and-three.html"><span lang="EN" style="color: blue; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">big
reason for my success</span></a><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">. He is the one I want there by my side for the
triumphs and tragedies life brings us. As we strolled around the
stunningly beautiful grounds in Hawaii, we still enjoyed each other’s company
without the craziness of <a href="http://ethiopianties.blogspot.com/2013/07/happy-fifth-birthday-to-my-little.html">three kids</a>. We have come far together over the
decades with successes, struggles, laughter and tears. We chuckle when we
hear a child misbehaving, and one of us can say, “Not ours!” Although
our children and jobs are always frequent topics of conversation, taking time
specifically for ourselves away from both is necessary and good. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
eangelihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03283227153127507342noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2035817613746903477.post-76651707883780940602013-07-04T14:32:00.000-07:002013-07-04T14:32:07.203-07:00Motherhood Lesson: Ignorance Is Empowering
<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Some say what
you don’t know can’t hurt you. I know that is not true in many
respects. But I found when I faced certain choices, there is a benefit to
not being fully aware of what all they will entail. Some are life
altering choices like getting married. I had no idea of the compromises,
ups, downs, twists and turns we would encounter when we decided to join our
lives. I could never have anticipated the joys, discovery, support, love
and laughter either. Having children is another. I found there are
many consequences of becoming a mother through biology or adoption that weren’t
even in my consciousness when I decided to make those choices. I joke
with friends that those who already have children don’t share all the gory
details until you are “in the club” and it’s too late to turn back. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">There are also
less momentous choices. </span><br />
<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span><br />
<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">When I struggled during my early years in
college, I <a href="http://balancingmotherhoodcareer.blogspot.com/2011/07/dropped-out-of-college-moved-to-europe.html"><span style="color: blue;">dropped out and moved to Europe</span></a>. When I returned
to the US, I had no specific plan. I thought I would just figure it out
as I went along. Had I known how lonely and daunting it would be to put
my life back on a career track, I might have chosen a safer path. But as
it turns out, I met my husband at the University I chose because it was walking
distance from the apartment I could afford. And after graduating and
getting married, I went on to law school.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
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<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I used to think
my approach of making decisions and then learning what they meant was tied to youth.
But I still do it. And I may even do it almost intentionally now (my
husband is convinced of it). I wrote about <a href="http://ethiopianties.blogspot.com/2011/10/open-hearts-big-dreams-lots-of-chills.html"><span style="color: blue;">“the anatomy of an accidental auction”.</span></a> I
volunteered to chair an event to support two great organizations working in my
daughter’s birth country of Ethiopia. My inspiration is pictured with me
after an Ethiopian New Year celebration. </span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4iVTU-Ed-HWqIY9QxLmPVJEyyoZcish686n8ul4LMM2bAVKi8AKIGFa5shYC6O-H0k3EC5oi3rTejyb9E89ZQeZ0hxWQQU_-qBUTeTOlDPN3gW9hw_3oOLNRnkWgTefk5KuWStLots8k/s1600/denver++ethiopian+new+year+168.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4iVTU-Ed-HWqIY9QxLmPVJEyyoZcish686n8ul4LMM2bAVKi8AKIGFa5shYC6O-H0k3EC5oi3rTejyb9E89ZQeZ0hxWQQU_-qBUTeTOlDPN3gW9hw_3oOLNRnkWgTefk5KuWStLots8k/s400/denver++ethiopian+new+year+168.JPG" width="257" /></a></div>
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<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Somewhere in the back of my
head, a little voice said, “You don’t have time. This will be hard.
You don’t know what you are doing. You will fail.” But I jumped in
and committed to a venue and date in part so I could not get cold feed.
I saw a recent quote attributed to Van Gogh that made this point
powerfully, “When you hear a voice in your head that say you can’t paint.
Paint and it will be silenced.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">As I work to
<a href="http://www.workingmother.com/blogs/mom-mayhem-missions-and-more/all-your-lifes-stage-facing-down-your-fears">silence my little voice</a>, I thought about choices I made over the years without
complete information where the same kinds of doubts echoed in my
mind. Deciding to “go all in” is part of the formula for success
for me. Once I cross a certain point, I am committed. I think
another part is being an enthusiastic optimist. I paint a vivid image in
my mind of the desired outcome – in part to drown out the little voice. I
touch it, see it, smell it, hear it, and even taste it. If I
hit hurdles, I view those as indications I need to dig deeper -- be more
creative, work harder, or ask for help. I am not above doing whatever it
takes. Plus I am known to have a stubborn streak – admitting the little
voice was right means giving into fear. </span><br />
<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Although I
don’t like to fail or <a href="http://balancingmotherhoodcareer.blogspot.com/2011/12/reflections-on-diversity-and-when-does.html">let my kids fail</a>, I learned failure often painfully provide the biggest
growth opportunities. I have jumped in multiple times. And I
survived and even thrived. I now remind myself of the successes
when panic threatens to overwhelm my optimism. This moment is almost
inevitable when, somewhere around the half way point, the chance for the
success I envisioned seems remote. Holding the faith and plowing ahead often
reveals options and support I couldn’t see around the corner. Ignorance
may not be bliss . . .but I have found it can be empowering. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
eangelihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03283227153127507342noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2035817613746903477.post-50916606246973244022013-06-23T05:29:00.005-07:002013-06-23T05:29:48.887-07:00Working Mother Challenge: Who Do You Trust to Take Care of Your Children
<br />
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<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Before my <a href="http://balancingmotherhoodcareer.blogspot.com/2010/02/one-plus-one-makes-three.html"><span style="color: blue;">first son was born</span></a>, I obsessed about who would
take care of him when I returned to work. I vividly recall standing in my
kitchen about 7 months pregnant when the wife of one of husband’s colleagues
called. She had a young son and was pregnant again. She wanted to let me
know she decided to stay home and start an in-house day care. I was
thrilled. I felt the relief flow over my swollen body.</span></div>
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<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">However, as
with many firsts in motherhood, there were complexities I didn’t
appreciate. She had never run an in-home day care. She got sick;
her child got sick. And she took vacations and other time off.
Whenever she could not be there, I needed to find a back up. I was an
associate at a large law firm. I negotiated a work-from-home arrangement a couple
days a week but the remaining days were by necessity long to compensate.</span></div>
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<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Even so, we
managed with only the occasional difficult patch of a late pick up or
last-minute scramble for coverage -- until I got a new job in the far
suburbs. With a longer commute and no more telecommuting for at least 6
months, I needed to get close to the original hours she said she would be
available. Her response to my request was, “When he is here longer than
8-9 hours, I start to resent him.” I felt like someone put a dagger
through my heart. Unwelcome tears welled in my eyes at her words.</span></div>
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<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I felt torn in
half. I didn’t want someone with those feelings to continue caring for my
child. I also did not want to disrupt my son’s early life as he seemed
generally happy. I decided try to make it work with her. But she
was unwilling to accommodate the hours I needed even for a defined
period. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Although part
of me was devastated that my son’s well being did not mean more to her, I also
felt a bit of relief. .. since deep down I didn’t trust her anymore. We ended
up in another in-home day care. This mom had 5 kids, mostly older. My son
was enthralled with the bustle of a full house as well as being the center of
attention of many. This situation worked much smoother. She had
done this for years and was much more comfortable with the routine. I
realized I was naïve thinking because someone wanted to they would necessarily
embrace the role and be excellent at it -- it is truly a extremely
challenging one.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
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<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Once we <a href="http://balancingmotherhoodcareer.blogspot.com/2011/08/how-to-balance-two-careers-and-three.html"><span style="color: blue;">moved to be closer</span></a> to my job, we decided to move
him to a true day care. I wanted the stability of set hours and a
curriculum that would prepare my child for school. My son started at eighteen
months and immediately took to it. He particularly enjoyed the variety of
activities including channeling his inner karate kid. With my second son born
on his brother’s birthday four years later, I completely avoided the child care
angst. I happily put him into the same daycare. He was a
favorite. I recall one young woman was moved from his room because she
spent too much time with him and not enough with the other children.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">When we <a href="http://www.adoptivefamiliescircle.com/blogs/post/biological_families_adopting_internationally/"><span style="color: blue;">adopted our daughter</span></a> seven years later, the angst
came back with a vengeance. I had to ask myself what child care option
was right for her. I found I was taken back to those waning moments of my
first pregnancy and when I needed to find another caregiver after the first one
didn’t work out. I faced a similar but even deeper uncertainty.
Since I knew little about her early life, I felt less equipped to make the
decision and forced myself to be open. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
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<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I was talking
about it with her 11-year-old brother. I said, “We might need to get a
nanny for Leyla. She might not be ready for day care.” His reaction
was quick and emphatic, “I don’t like that idea.” He is known for sharing
his opinion irrespective of whether you asked for it. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I asked, “Why
not?” unsure of what his answer might be but curious nonetheless. He
said, “Well, the way I see it, she will be doing your job.” Ouch!
That is exactly how I felt about it when I first considered a nanny for him a
decade earlier. I wanted it to be about my new daughter, not my preference and
insecurity. I wondered if his answer reflected the later . . .</span><br />
<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span><br />
<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">As it turns out, she was a lot like her brothers. She loved her day care and was quite a favorite there herself. She saw herself as an honorary member of the staff. She liked to play pretend where she is a teacher and her brothers are the preschoolers. One day she too might have to face the decision of what child care option is best for her baby. She is pictured here giving instructions to her doll. When she pretends she is the “mommy” and tells me, “Give a kiss, mommy’s gotta go to work now,” it makes me smile and think she will figure it out just fine for herself. <o:p></o:p></span><o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjD9QvyVTBG0wqKMWYViwek1gTrz6iW_SFqHeTKyb5qOSXk-XpD3bbXQ4-Qh8FOCYopDeoxZqLcoY-7spe4nTVeJjXbqzzepEiZPmIIAuF5It_5Z8Ig_IGn6EKi4sBB1Jo75KVUiKYv_G8/s1600/working+mother+blog+-+day+care.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjD9QvyVTBG0wqKMWYViwek1gTrz6iW_SFqHeTKyb5qOSXk-XpD3bbXQ4-Qh8FOCYopDeoxZqLcoY-7spe4nTVeJjXbqzzepEiZPmIIAuF5It_5Z8Ig_IGn6EKi4sBB1Jo75KVUiKYv_G8/s400/working+mother+blog+-+day+care.jpg" width="266" /></a></div>
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<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;"><br clear="all" style="mso-special-character: line-break; page-break-before: always;" />
</span>eangelihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03283227153127507342noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2035817613746903477.post-49743665798954948542013-05-26T12:52:00.000-07:002013-05-26T12:52:51.008-07:00Making “Good Enough” GOOD When Accepting the Trade-Offs between Motherhood and Career
<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> When I celebrated my 20th wedding anniversary, I wanted to surprise my husband
with <a href="http://balancingmotherhoodcareer.blogspot.com/2011/08/how-to-balance-two-careers-and-three.html">a post honoring his amazing support</a> of my career throughout the years. But I also had a large
operational plan to deliver to senior management that same day. I planned
ahead and wrote a draft well in advance. I edited painstakingly to the
point I thought it was close. I really wanted to get this one just
right but it needed more than editing. For my writing to reflect
me, I have learned I need something even more difficult to find in the hustle
of a two career, three children household: a quiet place in my mind
where I gain clarity. I need to remove the clutter of other distractions
and priorities. Then when I write, I just follow where my
thoughts take me. </span><br />
<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">With the
looming deadline, I couldn’t find this place until the weekend after our
anniversary. As I published the finished post to my facebook profile, I
shared why this anniversary announcement was two days
late. I get that rather misses the point of instant updates which I have
never been quite able to fully embrace anyway, being a more contemplative
type. In my status, I wrote I learned over the last 20 years that
sometime close is good enough.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I thought about
this more in the days that followed because it is a theme that resonates with
me. Later that summer, I visited a dear friend, Cindy, who lives in
Holland. We are pictured here with our two youngest. I <a href="http://balancingmotherhoodcareer.blogspot.com/2011/07/dropped-out-of-college-moved-to-europe.html"><span style="color: blue;">used to live there</span></a> and miss the day to day
contact. But since I moved back to the US, we have grown our friendship
by making do with what was available to us and cherishing the times we can be
together. She has four young sons and a career helping with third world
development. She asked while I was there how I found time to write.
I told her it wasn’t easy but I committed <a href="http://balancingmotherhoodcareer.blogspot.com/2012/12/just-start.html"><span style="color: blue;">to starting</span></a> and then made it a priority. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">She is an
amazing cook. My family reveled in her creatively cooked
meals. She has a broad range from her travels to the far flung parts of
the world. When we got back home, my eldest asked with the teenage tone
he has recently perfected, “Why can’t you do home cooking every night like
Cindy does?” So many responses flashed through my brain – “Why can’t you
be the child you were, before you reached your teen years, who thought everything
I did was perfect? Why do you have such a sense of entitlement? Why
can’t you see how hard I am trying to make this all work - -but there are
limits child?”</span><br />
<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Instead, I
answered honestly and directly. “Given my current work obligations, I
can’t cook for you all as much as you or I would like. I have to make
hard choices about how I spend my time and right now that has not been my
priority.” He nodded and walked off. In truth, it stung. I
want to be that perfect mom who makes the home a wonderfully welcoming
place. </span><br />
<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I am not. I
love to cook and wrote a <a href="http://balancingmotherhoodcareer.blogspot.com/2011/04/middle-child-solution-food-is-love.html"><span style="color: blue;">cookbook with my middle son</span></a>. But I don't do
it every day. My schedule often has me home later. These are the tradeoffs we make now. But I was glad he
shared that it was important to him. Knowing that gives me an opportunity
to adjust and juggle so we can have home cooked meals more
often. I was also glad to hear how much he
enjoyed being with my friend and her family.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I
know Cindy loves cooking for her family and made it one of her priorities.
She finds there are other things she can’t do because of it, like write as I
do. But I found making “good enough” good is not just about making those
types of trade-offs. I also need to accept I am not super human and
I will not be able to do everything those I care about want me to
do. Once I make a choice, I need be okay with it instead of <a href="http://balancingmotherhoodcareer.blogspot.com/2013/02/working-mother-challenge-be-in-present.html"><span style="color: blue;">letting doubt and guilt sneak</span></a> in and take away my
ability to revel in the messiness, joy and exploration inherent in this type of
juggling. And as was the case here, I need to remain open and
adjust so I continue to do right for myself and my family as things
constantly evolve. </span><br />
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<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">What
I know deep down, “good enough” to <a href="http://www.workingmother.com/blogs/mom-mayhem-missions-and-more/balancing-juggling-%E2%80%93-dropping-things-part-perfecting-art">maintain balance</a> is not settling
for less. Within the context of these important competing priorities, it
is just GOOD. I am not able hang on to that everyday yet but I am
getting closer.
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;"><br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" />
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</span>eangelihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03283227153127507342noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2035817613746903477.post-76092697331132844892013-04-28T03:10:00.000-07:002013-04-28T03:10:03.261-07:00How Motherhood Helped My Career: Taught Me Brutal Prioritization
<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I have seen
much written about how motherhood negatively affects your career. I don’t
dispute it but I want to share how motherhood actually helped my career. Yes, I
admit it. I am an optimistic, half full kind of person. But there
is still something here. Although nothing I learned is much more
than common sense . . .becoming a mother made me open to embrace it.</span><br />
<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span><br />
<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Being a mom (or
"mama" as my daughter prefers) taught me brutal
prioritization. Don’t get me wrong, I could prioritize before. I
needed this skill to complete law school right after getting married and handle
my responsibilities as a overworked associate at a large firm for three
years before my first child arrived. </span><br />
<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span><br />
<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Brutal
prioritization is different – it requires complete honesty. To do it
effectively, I need to dig deep and figure out <a href="http://www.workingmother.com/blogs/mom-mayhem-missions-and-more/working-mother-lesson-need-vocation-bliss-and-purpose-measure">what is truly important</a>. I use a quote as a litmus test: "No one ever lies on
their death bed wishing they spent more time at the office." When I
take this long view, the answers are clearer. Before motherhood, I was
more likely to accept another’s priority: "This project requires you
to work over the weekend." "Good mothers don’t miss any of
their kids activities." "You can have it all if you just work
harder."</span><br />
<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span><br />
<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">My
prioritization evolved. I learned I am no good to anyone if I don’t take care
of myself. This includes the physical but also what brings me
fulfillment. I give myself permission to make my interests, like writing,
cooking, and gardening, important. I try to do<a href="http://balancingmotherhoodcareer.blogspot.com/2011/04/middle-child-solution-food-is-love.html"> <span style="color: blue;">them with my kids</span> </a>and share them with friends and
family so they seemed less indulgent. But they are priorities.</span><br />
<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span><br />
<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I also made my
kids my priority. But that <span style="color: blue;"><a href="http://balancingmotherhoodcareer.blogspot.com/2010/04/surviving-bad-mommy-moments.html">doesn’t mean I make</a></span> all their important
events. I do my best to consistently show them how important they are to
me. I try to help them see I am a whole person with dimensions beyond
being their mother. I want my boys to respect women’s choices. And
I want my daughter to have freedom to make her own choices.</span><br />
<br />
<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I</span><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> focus on leaving regret behind as a wasteful emotion. It furthers no priorities. I try not to second guess when I let myself or someone else down. Instead I strive to learn from failure and move on as quickly as I can. I do my best to <a href="http://balancingmotherhoodcareer.blogspot.com/2013/02/working-mother-challenge-be-in-present.html"><span style="color: blue;">be in the moment</span></a>. Seeing my boys grow from babies to young adults in what felt like just a few short years hit home with me that each moment is precious and fleeting. We (with one son missing since he was the photographer) are pictured enjoying a dinner in <a href="http://www.incultureparent.com/2011/01/family-evolution-the-meaning-of-multicultural/"><span style="color: blue;">Greece, my husband’s homeland</span></a>, even as I was juggling operational planning with my team remotely. (Motherhood also taught me the beauty of the word "AND" but that's for a later post.)</span></span><br />
<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgoMmlfZWlqA6saU0aVRIUcov2TeCU_ss7rYljzxJ94KETsUeYjKLhiBsJHibst-1c3oYLL25lCX8HHbb4-fQFQDU7Ro-okj3dGjmD0rq8M8zmT0c87PEIsQFz4OLivTZ2STw_mhG2T-Rc/s1600/greek+night+out+2011+012.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="306" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgoMmlfZWlqA6saU0aVRIUcov2TeCU_ss7rYljzxJ94KETsUeYjKLhiBsJHibst-1c3oYLL25lCX8HHbb4-fQFQDU7Ro-okj3dGjmD0rq8M8zmT0c87PEIsQFz4OLivTZ2STw_mhG2T-Rc/s400/greek+night+out+2011+012.JPG" width="400" /></a></div>
<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span><br />
<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">A successful
working mother gave a speech on balancing when I was a young mom. A
line stuck with me. “If you are going to spend time away from your kids, do
something you truly love.” I make finding joy in my work a
focus --both in the intellectual exercise and in the human element.
I share with my kids what I learn to give them a perspective on things in their
future as well as a more complete view of who I am.</span><br />
<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span><br />
<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I</span><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> went to a
Franklin Covey seminar shortly after getting a big role some years ago.
One take away was not to separate work and home when you prioritize -- but to
view your life as a whole. At the time, I was beginning to do this
naturally but not consistently. Since then, I work to make it how I live.</span><br />
<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span><br />
<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;">After becoming a mom, I had greater success in
my career and <a href="http://ethiopianties.blogspot.com/2013/03/open-hearts-big-dreams-we-do-it-for-her.html">more fulfillment</a> in my life. Brutal prioritization is my
yardstick to measure the depth and breadth of my life</span>eangelihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03283227153127507342noreply@blogger.com0